The over privileged ringtone..

Before I start, I ll have to apologize for the cheeky title.. especially since it's a twist on the title of a post that I read from someone's blog.. but it sort of suited what I was gonna write about.. So, a thanks to the author and a sorry to his fans.. And now that I have silenced my conscience, let's just go ahead..

The over privileged ringtone, in this case, is my very own, non personal ringtone.. by that I mean that it's just one ringtone for everyone on my mobile.. one tune that plays anytime anyone calls! So why is it the over privileged ringtone? Coz of all the unnecessary calls I keep getting from the so called tele marketing people.. I have so far got so many calls that I have actually had the chance to understand the different types of persons who call...

And having understood the different categories of such call persons (with obviously no pun intended!), I am thankful that I didn't listen to my friend and activate DND.. Besides, I don't think DND works very well... They can always do this:

So here are the types of persons who might call you. I will illustrate each with an example based on true calls that I have received over the past 2 yrs or so. You can appreciate my patience later for bearing with the callers and my presence of mind (read -> lack of work) for coming up with this research :P

1. The Informed Caller:
   These are the people who actually have some kind of background information on you and try to convince you with actual data and facts. One such call I received was from Vodafone. The actual transcript would be pretty boring to read so I ll just describe the call as shortly as possible (by me, that is).. A Vodafone Executive called me up and asked if she could talk to me for a few mins. I said yes and she started describing this wonderful plan that was just meant for me (I am sure she used that line on everyone.. but hey, we are suckers nevertheless!) She told me about a plan that would cost me Rs. 39 per month and which would make my Vodafone to Vodafone calls to cost only 20p/min.. I eagerly asked whether it was all Vodafone numbers to which she said in a lower voice that it was only for local Vodafone numbers.. And that made me wonder what was the use of the plan.. My current plan charges me 40p/min for local Vodafone numbers and this new plan would just reduce it by 20p while I have to pay Rs.39.. and that too considering I have CUG and most of my friends are on CUG (atleast the ones I need to call regularly).. So I pointed out the same to her.. And she immediately said (and here I try to quote) "But sir, we notice that you call 9********* and it's not CUG".. I was a bit taken aback.. I mean, I know they would have my details but this was the first time I was seeing it being used against me! I politely replied that I get more incoming than outgoing from that number (ofcourse, I didn't recognize the number but then, who cares?).. I thought that would stop her but no.. She said "No sir. We can see that you talked for more than 20 mins with this number last Saturday and it cost you Rs. X and taking this plan would reduce those charges".. Now this was really getting out of hand and I couldn't think of anything to say.. In the end, I just said "Actually, we are fighting so we are no longer talking to each other, so I won't need the plan but thanks anyways for asking!"
2. The too-good-to-be-true caller
   These are the type of callers who try to give you some offer but you are not sure whether you are the intended person or whether this is a crank call or whether someone is just trying to pull a fast one on you. Picture this scenario: I get a call on my office desk phone and the person on the other end says "Hi, I am so-and-so from 'X' consultancy and we are recruiting for Java developers for a MNC. Would you be interested to share your resume?" I had just recently joined office so I was not really planning to move out.. but since I got the call I thought I could give it a try.. and then I remembered that I had never heard of a consultancy person calling on the desk phone to ask for resume! This got me suspicious and so I ended up saying "Actually I am quite happy here but thanks for the offer". To this day, I am not sure whether that was really a call from some consultancy or whether it was our company HR's way of doing background verification!
3. The indifferent caller
   These are the ppl who call you just coz they have to.. porbably the best kind of ppl to get calls from.. "Hello sir, can I take a few mins of your time" "this is about" "a free gold credit card from..." "not interested" "thank you sir" simple, short and quick call!
   
4. The taking-things-personally/ insistent caller
   These are the callers who get offended if you say no and actually take things personally.. They try to defend themselves and try and convince you to accept the offer.. I got a call from a credit card company, one day. "Hello sir, can I talk to you for a few mins?" "what is this about?" "sir, this is about a free gold credit card from X bank" "Sorry, not interested" and I was about to cut the call when I heard a slightly agitated tone from the other end "why not sir? I want to know why!" This was the first time somebody had actually asked for a reason! "I already have two credit cards" "but sir, this card has features 1, 2 and 3!" "I have all the 3 features on both my cards and I am not actually the card using kind of person.. I don't travel and I shop very little" "But sir, this card is free! you can just take and keep it without using!" "why would I buy a card that I won't even use?" "But sir, this card is completely free and you can use it anytime you want and we are giving it to only Y company employee" By now I had run out of excuses and patience "ok, if I take this credit card, how will I pay the bill? Can I pay the bill online?" "No sir, you can pay cash or cheque at the nearest bank or drop a cheque at the the nearest ATM or you can ask one of our executives to come and pick the cheque for a nominal fee!" "That's why I don't want the card. The bank is far, the nearest ATM is atleast 8kms away and I don't see the point of paying for paying my bill!" "I understand sir. Thank you for your time" phew! finally!
5. The sensitive caller
   These are the callers who get hurt if you don't listen to them or if you say no. This call came to one of friends "Hello madam, is this the right time to talk to you?" "what is this about?" "Maam, a free credit card..." but before he could finish, my friend interjected "Not interested" and was abt to cut the call when she heard the almost-in-tears voice from the other end "ye kay hai maam! koi sunte hi nahi ho!  sab log bina sune hi kaath dete ho!" {what's this maam.. no one even listens (to what I am saying) Everyone just cuts the call (without hearing me out)} a little taken aback but not wanting to hurt the person more, my friend asked the person to tell abt the offer which he gladly went on abt for 5 mins at the end of which my friend very politely replied that she really was not interested and that she already had another credit card. The caller thanked her for listening and finally disconnected..
6. The desperate caller - This is my personal favorite!!!
   This is the caller who seemingly has to meet some targets and tries to do everything in his power to sell you something.. or in my case, anything! "Good morning sir, am I talking to Mr. Vivek?" "Yes" "Sir, are you working for X company?" "Yes" "Sir, I am glad to inform you that you have been selected for a free savings account  from Y bank" "Er.. I already have my salary account in Y bank" a slight pause later "hmm. Sir you already have a salary account?" "Yes" "which branch sir?" "M.G. Road branch" "ok sir, what abt a current account sir?" "I already have one which was opened along with my salary account in the same branch!" "ok sir, then how about a free gold credit card from Y bank?" "But I already have a free platinum card from Y bank" "eh.. sir.. what abt a demat account?" "But I don't do trading so I won't need one" that I believe was the final straw coz I could make out that he was really getting desperate "sir, come on, you can take a demat account and it ll be just 100rs. per year.." And even though I pitied the person, I had to politely refuse and disconnect the call..

Now that you know the different types of callers, try and fit the next call you get into these categories.. And while I sometimes feel these ppl should be fried in oil for the kind of pain in the wrong places that they are, I can't help but pity these ppl's job.. Think abt it.. having to call hundreds of ppl most of whom would be rude and still keeping a happy mood.. I wonder how these ppl manage not to commit suicide! Next time you get a call, be a bit empathic and say NO in a polite manner.. after all, there are just doing a job like you and me!

As for me, I have gotten so used to the calls, I have actually come to this stage:

GIDS

When my SIL suddenly called me up on Tuesday evening, I knew something was wrong.. But things were worse than expected.. She wanted me to attend some 2 day developer summit on her behalf.. somewhere near Mathikere (I stay near ITPL which meant it was a good 25+ kms away).. Now, the distance, the short notice and the almost total ignorance on what to expect, factored very heavily in making me want to say no.. And knowing a few seminars/ summits which were more of a brand promotion rather than dissemination of knowledge, I was a bit weary about going. But for some reason I agreed.. Maybe it was an intuition (Maybe, I just needed a break from work!)

And am I glad that I decided to go! Fast forward 12 hrs - I made sure I could leave office for two days and hurriedly took an auto at around 9 to JN Tata Auditorium (the gates were supposed to get closed by 9.20).. After trying to find the shortest route and realizing that the auto wala took the longer route and getting stuck in stand still traffic, finally managed to hurriedly reach a little before 11. I was half expecting to get kicked out but was let in with a tag and a complimentary bag. I found the nearest hall and went in, imagining things to be very much similar to the many training courses that I had attended.


But I was in for a surprise. The session that was going on was by a person by the name Scott Davis on HTML5.. I had heard abt HTML5 and knew that most of the browsers were supporting it. But that's were my knowledge stopped.. The next one hour or so was just pure learning fun.. I don't remember having so much fun getting to know something new.. atleast, none in the recent years..

And the day just changed completely after that.. I came to know that there were a number of sessions going on in parallel and I could attend any of them.. So I attended the session on Designing User Experience for Multi-screen Applications with Flash, HTML5 & CSS3 by Harish Sivaramakrishnan. It was very informative, especially the part on CSS3 and Adobe AIR..

Soon it was lunch time and I started going to the various stalls put up in the vicinity by the sponsors.. There was so much information available within a hand's reach and there were numerous contests and goodies too.. And the lunch was simply excellent (something that I usually find the organizers neglect when the technical organizing is good. Kudos to the Organizers for that).. A tasty meal, a complimentary Red Bull, a quick visit to the stalls and it was back to sessions.. But instead we were greeted by a magician.. An illusionist to be precise.. And he brought the spirits back with his wonderful acts & wisecracks and had the audience in splits with his quips!

Then it was a series of sessions starting with an informative session on jQuery, another light but meaningful session by Scott Davis on Microformats and Sematic web followed by a wonderful session on javaScript by Venkat Subramaniam! By the end of the day, all that learning frenzy left me exhausted but thirsty for more!!

Finally here was a Summit, which had relevant and related topics, wonderful orators, a good management of events, excellent arrangements in terms of audio, video, seating (& eating) and goodies to make us feel good.. Thanks to saltmarch media and the sponsors for this wonderful Developer Summit. I am eager to sleep off now and get up early for the second day of sessions on my favorite language - Java.

To sum up the Summit: GIDS - Genuinely Informative, Doubly Satisfactory!

G I D S

 

How to win arguments

Here is the next in the 'HOW TO' series.. This time it's on how to win arguments.. People always find it difficult to argue but arguments are actually very easy to win.. All it requires is the right strategy.. And arguments are actually quite healthy coz it lets you see the different perspectives on a topic.. Besides, argument is infact just a medium to get your point across.. This is one of the reasons why I argue..

And arguably, I am good at arguing.. But most of the times, I am not really arguing - I am just pointing out a different perspective because it makes me feel good that I could think something different.. There is this huge difference between arguments and pointing out various aspects of some situation.. And evidently, it seems when I do the latter, no one is able to distinguish it from the former.. And I end up being the bad guy.. Well, probably I am the bad guy.. Maybe I am not (Anyone wanna argue on that? ;) )

Methods to argue :)

And since most would argue that there is no need to spin any more yarn and I should just get to the point, here I list the general DO's and DONT's for any argument:

1. IT'S NOT A FIGHT
   One of the first and foremost things to remember is this - This is not a fight! If your point of view is wrong, just accept it.. If the other person is not getting your point no matter what, just back down.. And don't get aggressive! And NEVER get physical over an argument!
2. Attack the point of view, not the person
   One of the biggest misconceptions/ mistakes is that when you argue over something, people consider it as an attack on themselves while in fact argument is just on the topic/ point of view/ perspective.. Which is why, in a good argument, neither parties should get personal.. So always remember to attack the topic, not the person. (ofcourse, some arguments are on core personal values/ beliefs in which case it is personal and you should be very careful about how you broach the topic)
3. Never raise your voice
   If you are indeed trying to get your point across, then there is no point in raising your voice.. bigger voice does not mean you are right! Besides, you are not giving orders or subduing someone into being your subordinate or worse, your every-bidding-fulfilling-slave! So, stay calm.. I repeat, don't get aggressive!
4. Never belittle the opponent
   Just coz you are in an argument where you are right (or you seem right) does not mean you are superior to the other person.. You maybe right now and wrong on some other topics.. So never belittle the opponent or rub it in or crush them like spiders!
5. Win or lose gracefully
   Whether you win or lose an argument, its still just an argument.. you might win/ lose now and then lose/ win later... So winning one argument doesn't make you a great person and losing an argument doesn't make you a wimp!

Now that we have gone over the DO's and DONT's, let's get on with the actual strategy of winning an argument :) And the strategy is quite simple to know and remember but hard to implement - If you can't convince them, confuse them! Here are some tips to win any argument:

Okay, don't do that.. But, seriously, try following the following:

1. Always know what you are going to argue about
   Don't ever start an argument for the heck of it (unless you are just trying to piss someone off and you don't really care whether you get your points across or not!!!) Have a clear idea of what point you want to send across and work on that.
2. List down points
   Always list your arguments into points.. if you don't have too many points, break the one's you have into smaller ones. This has the advantage of giving the impression that you know what you are taking about and your point of view must be true if you are able to point so many things and foremost of all, it is excellent to intimidate the opponent who will get overwhelmed by the sheer 'number' of things you have to say.
3. Always use examples while arguing
   Using examples to explain your points has multiple advantages and is one of the key strategies in winning any argument.
   Using examples:
   a) Allows the opponent to exactly understand what you are trying to mean (since nothing explains as easily as examples do)
   b) Brings the argument into your world since its your example and thereby gets the argument under your control (so you can steer him/ her to go in any direction you want them to go)
   c) Distracts the opponent from the REAL thing.. you can keep the opponent confused with so many examples that eventually they will have to give up or forget what they were fighting on!
4. Use the Brahmastra
   Okay, you have tried the other tricks or you still need time to think about how to convince (or confuse) the opponent. What do you do? You can't just stand around staring at them! Simple. Just dare them to give 3 good points to support their point of view. The following are the possible outcomes:
   a) They cannot come up with 3 good points and they might themselves accept defeat (you'd be lucky if this happened to you, but it can happen!)
   b) They are coming up with reasons but they themselves don't seem too sure about it or they are unable to give 3 full good reasons. This again is child's play. Just point out how ridiculous the reasons are or how they cannot even come up with 3 reasons to support their theory and they will accept defeat.
   c) They come up with 3 really good reasons. Well, in that case, you now have had enough time to think on your own plus use their reasons as food for your thought. If you still cannot think of anything, please just accept defeat! You can get them next time.

And there you have it. Simple steps to win any argument. Repeat the mantra again "If you can't convince them, confuse them!"

As always, time to warn you about some things:

1. Never argue incessantly. Stop at a point and either accept defeat or force a draw. No point winning an argument and losing a friend in the process!
2. Never argue for each and everything!
3. Never think no one can beat you in an argument!
4. Never let your guard down while arguing!
5. Never take arguments personally!
   And most importantly
6. Never argue with your girlfriend/ wife!!!!
7. Never try what I taught you, on me!

All the best and enjoy arguing :)

How not to tell the truth...

Note: This is the first of the 'HOW TO' series that I have thought up for ppl.. Even if it doesn't really help you in anyway, it can just be a good read.. So read on..

Honesty is, honestly, the best policy! But, lets be honest here.. We are a bunch of dishonest ppl.. We'd be lying if we said we were honest.. The only difference is the reason for lying. As long as it is not something that's unfairly disadvantageous to someone or overtly advantageous to one self, you can lie... 

Simply put - Don't lie if it ll hurt someone and Don't lie if it's just to get you something... So, why do we have to think so much abt lying, you ask? Coz even if we are dishonest people (at times), we are ethical and have a clear conscience.. (For those who ask me what a conscience is, pls ignore the post, this is not for you..) So there you have it.. I could never lie abt something that ll keep pricking me later..

Having seen the better part of honesty, I think it's about time to give a few hints & tips.. (tricks of the trade, you might say!)

So here is a list of some things that you can do when you HAVE to lie..

1. KISS - Keep it Simple, Stupid!
   Always keep the lie simple.. This does not mean you should just tell a one line lie and not discuss anything more on that.. What I simply mean is DON'T ever think of a complex scenario for the lying. Take common things from life and use them as an excuse. Since it's something that can happen anytime to anyone, using a day to day 'happening' as an excuse is the easiest way out..
2. Make it bold
   7 out of 10 times, you can get away with a lie if it's bold enough to make them think you couldn't have made it up.. but there is a difference between a bold lie and an outrageous one!
3. Mind your body
   Be extra careful about your body language/ stance/ line of sight etc.. don't fidget or seem uncomfortable.. You should actually look like you are explaining what happened.. And look the person in the eye while talking..
4. Never use the same excuse
   Never use the same excuse, especially with the same person and never within short periods of time.. this not only loses your credibility, but also rusts your thinking capacity to come up with good excuses!
5. Don't try to be spontaneous
   Don't ever try to be spontaneous in your lies!!! Unless, you really are quick witted & you can think on your feet or you are talking to people who are so gullible that they ll buy anything you say.. Which is quite rare.. So always prepare yourself..
6. Add a few minor details
   Always add a few unessential non-consequential details to your lie coz that ll make it look more real... this could be a fleeting-glance kind of stuff or anything else that will in no way directly add to your story..
7. Believe the lie
   If you don't believe your own story, no one else will!! So, always believe your own lies.. believe them to be the truth.. only then can you be confident and unwavering against insurmountable odds..
8. Forget what actually happened, remember your version
   Don't ever try to keep two different versions in your head... remember the version you want the others to know.. this way you don't have to think twice in case you have to repeat the story.. one version, one story.. till the end
9. Don't tell different versions to different ppl
   Whatever you do, don't tell different ppl different versions of the same story! There is no way you will remember what you told whom.. Stick to one story.. everywhere...
10. Use facts/ other truths
    In case you are having to tell a complex lie, always use facts in between... or things that the other person knows for sure is the truth... If you say 4 sure-truths and one lie, chances are, you can get away with it..
11. Don't use unconfirmed alibi's
    Don't ever try to drop names or say you saw/ heard things, as part of your story unless you know for sure that they are completely unverifiable or you are sure beyond doubt that the person/ thing was there! Be vague about the details you give.. try to avoid actually using names of ppl or person unless you are sure they cannot be reached/ verified
12. Do a background check
    Always make sure that the person you lie to has no way of meeting someone who knows the truth.. In case you do think it's possible, either take the other person into confidence or simply don't lie!
13. Make someone collaborate your story
    If you have a trustworthy friend, you can make them collaborate your story... But this has to rehearsed such that you two don't give out two different versions.. The best way for this to work is to never tell the story together and to always remember that one of you should miss some details that the other will tell as part of his/ her recounting... And it works better if the other person tells the story first so that it actually looks like you are just recounting the same thing...
14. Never share the truth
    Never share the truth with anyone unless you are very sure they are trustworthy.. and if you must, never share it with more than 2 persons!
15. Never boast about your lying skills
    If ppl know you are a liar or that you are good at lying, there is a greater chance that all your stories will be scrutinized and its possible no one will believe you even if you told the truth (remember the story about the boy who cried wolf!)
    

Well then.. now that you know some pointers to get you started, here are some common misconceptions about lying:

1. If the story is elaborate, then its a lie
   It is actually possible that someone tells an elaborate story and it's the truth.. Some ppl just tend to be 'descriptive' (like me).. So don't take a story as false just coz it sounds elaborate
2. If you are good at lying, you are good at catching one too
   This is one of the first things you have to understand. You may be very good at lying but might never be able to catch someone else lying.. Coz lying is an individual thing and depends from person to person.. Even if the person uses the same tactics as yours, the credibility of the lie is in the manner of speaking, the body language etc... Besides, anyone can fake body language.. So don't be confident about catching lies
3. If you have an accomplice, you can get away with the lie
   More often than not, the lie is caught coz of the very accomplice that you might trust.. so don't go for an accomplice unless you know the person completely and you have rehearsed on the story..
4. If you got away with a lie with someone, you can get away with them every time
   This is probably the biggest mistake you can make.. Just because someone bought the story from you once shouldn't make you confident that they ll fall for you every time..
5. If your story was bought once, you ll never get caught
   The second biggest mistake is to think that if things are okay after lying, you will never get caught.. If you have lied, it is bound to come out sometime.. You should always be on guard or ready to face the consequence.

I think that just about covers the whole thing with lying. Now, if you are thinking why I would go ahead and let the secret out or wondering why I don't seem to panic that ppl will know when I am lying, it's simply coz I don't use these tactics.. at all.. Actually, I can say I almost never lie :D Now I ll let you try and master the art and come up with my tactic..

And before I sign off, here are 3 golden sacred rules to swear by:

1. Never make an habit of lying
2. Never lie for silly things
3. Never lie if it ll hurt someone

And remember what Abe Lincoln said - "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time"

Love...

I am so sure that anyone reading this is going to think that I am going to talk about my love life (or ppl knowing me - the lack of it), I fell the necessity to clarify in the very beginning - no on both counts.. I am not even going to talk about any fantasy or how my dream girl should be like..

This post is a simple attempt to demystify love.. or simply put, what I think love is.. Now, if you are wondering that I have no experience and should therefore have no authority to comment on love, let me clarify that as a person who is more in love with the idea of being in love (as rightly pointed out by a few of my friends) and coz I am mostly surrounded by couples, I have had the opportunity to watch and observe love at a close range and can therefore consider myself as an "expert" of sorts..

And yes, love is mysterious.. there is no one definition for love.. heck, even the one's present seem contradictory.. so, here is my attempt to try and explain about love based on other ppl's experience.. (for ppl who don't understand, this was my disclaimer meaning that if you have any qualms about what you read below, take it up with "The PPL"!)

So, with hundreds of love quotes for every situation, thousands of advices on how to proceed and millions of stories, both successful and the not-so-successful already available out there, here I am risking my hand at the daunting (and pretty much self catastrophic) task of defining love:

(Note: Her is interchangeable with Him)

1. Love, can happen to anyone at anytime (mostly at the least expected time and many a times with the least expected person - or that's how your friends will claim later!)
2. Love, is that feeling of attraction that just doesn't go away with closeness (I don't just mean physical. Some argue that attraction is there only till the magic of mystery is present & once you know the person, the magic is gone.. Love doesn't fall under that argument.. You know the person completely and you are still attracted to that person)
3. Love, is the not-so-self-evident flying of sparks when you are with her
4. Love, is that longing feeling of wanting to be with her but not necessarily doing something (you look forward to being with her but when you are, you can't really think of anything to do - you are just content with the proximity)
5. Love, is missing her after spending the whole day with her
6. Love, is having a million things to talk and then staying silent after meeting
7. Love, is the jealousy that someone might mean more to her than you
8. Love, is fighting madly and then loving even more madly!
9. Love, is being angry on her and yet not being able to stop worrying about her
10. Love, is being grumpy after waking up but becoming cheerful by a msg or call from her
11. Love, is wanting to do something just because she wants to (attention to the subtle difference between "doing something for her" and "wanting to do something for her")
12. Love, is eating your least favorite dish because it's her favorite
13. Love, is trying to impress her even though you know she is completely yours
14. Love, is looking at other girls but still wanting her
15. Love, is defending her even though you know she is wrong
16. Love, is knowing that she is not perfect but still thinking she is
17. Love, is holding her reassuringly coz she got scared of a cockroach
18. Love, is letting her sleep on your hand the whole night
19. Love, is wanting to wake up to her voice
20. Love, is fighting with her and then not being fine with anyone else
21. Love, is letting her win
22. Love, is doing things for her even if she won't know it
23. Love, is letting her think she loves you more than you love her
24. Love, is loving her even when you think things will never work out
25. Love, is waiting for her when she says she will never come back

I will stop here and let the feeling sink in..  Love is a wonderful feeling that everyone should experience, not necessarily before marriage.. Coz as they say, Marriage is falling in love multiple times - always with the same person...

Disclaimer: Close Friends are known to experience many of the above and you could just be having a crush on someone.. What I mean is, you need not be in love just coz u feel some of the above..

The Void

 

This is a topic of constant debate between me and a dear friend of mine.. What is The Void? (The capitalization is intentional - it's what differentiates The Void from space void and programming void) And more importantly, how is The Void different from just being alone or feeling lonely (which in themselves are quite different.. being alone is physical.. feeling lonely can happen in a crowd)


Whats The Void then? well.. it's almost like feeling lonely but more constant, a lot deeper and very hard to fill.. it's almost like an empty space.. or a missing jigsaw piece from a puzzle... something that's always there at the back of your mind.. something that you only realize is there from time to time..


How is it still different from being lonely? Because, loneliness can be resolved by companionship.. The Void could be lack of companionship, lack of specific goals, lack of order in life or anything else for that matter.. And it's The Void because it's harder to know what's missing.. Just the knowledge that something is missing.. But not just a subtle feeling of something missing.. It's an aching feeling of missing something.. You can't do anything because you know there is something missing.. But you don't know what's missing so you still can't do anything about it...

And that's the damning part - you don't realize you have The Void (atleast not that easily) And when you do, you realize only it's presence.. not what or why... And it just lingers there.. till someday it gets filled on its own.. and that's when you really know what it was that you were missing..


Some of us just learn to live with The Void. Others spend their lifetime trying to fill it.. And there are a few who just live without realizing it's there.. Probably, The Void is one place where ignorance is indeed bliss..

How I wish I were ignorant...

Superpowers...

Keeping recent events in mind, I think this is a topic that I want to "think out aloud".. It's a topic that I think quite often about.. thoughts about so many "what if"s and many more "if only"s... and over the years, as I grew older (not necessarily wiser), my thoughts and perspectives changed and eventually, my take on which superpower will win in the end...

Okay, I just realized that some might start to think this is a political topic and that I am going to drone about how US can't last for long and how we should be careful about China's tremendous growth and the sort... I am sorry to disappoint you but I am not that serious kind of person.. I am going to leave such a task to my friend the wannabe economist and just quibble about which superpower is the best to have.. Yes, I mean super powers like super-human strength, flying, invisibility, super-speed, laser visions etc..

And yes, I really am jobless enough to write about it.. But you have to admit, it's a fantasy that everyone of us has had at one point or the other.. And I WILL admit that I have prayed (and at times tried to offer bribes too) to get one super power or the other.. and thankfully, I didn't get any because I would always end up changing my mind over which power I want...

So here's a look over some of the powers that I thought would be awesome and then thought would not be of any use... Ofcourse, I am not considering mutant powers coz they are actually random mutations and very hard to repeat and besides, if I can mutate then so can someone else.. No, it has to be a super power that I get by mistake... if not for the awesomeness, then atleast for the sake of uniqueness..



First, a list of powers that were not even on my list:

• Super-strength - I am not a body buff and Arnie (a la pumping iron) is probably the only guy on whom those kind of muscles look good.. everyone else just look huge and abnormal.. besides, we all know what The Thing (Fantastic Four) goes through for having super strength.
• Super-Sense - Super sense is again of no use unless you have any other power that you can use along.. Think about it, what's the point of having super hearing or super sight if you can't actually do anything with what you see/ hear.. and with so much filth and stink around, I definitely don't want super smell!!!
• Super breath - I am very prone to cold so this is off the list :P
• Elasticity - I know Richards is the head of Fantastic Four, but somehow I never really fancied being able to stretch myself.. besides I already am stretching myself at work and for others.. so don't really need that power specifically ;)
• Ability to enter someone's subconscious - Think of inception.. you can enter anyone's mind but the world created there is yours.. you can do many things to a person... or for that matter, with the person ;) and that's its downfall.. this is not mind control.. just controlling the mental environment.. and you need to do this one person at a time.. so not really useful.. unless, all you want to do is fool around..

Okay, now for THE LIST: (Drums and Trumpets pls!!)

1. Flight: This is by far the most talked about super power. And everyone wants it.. And so did I. You could go wherever you want, no more traffic, no more petrol worries & no need for passport or visa! Okay, this one seemed cool in the beginning when I saw superman, but with so many airplanes, pollution and satellite tracking your every moment now a days, flying is no longer a good enough power unless you have something else too... besides, you also have to worry about high tech weapons... and flying in the night or cold air is a big problem.. so unless I have some other awesome power, just flight is not something I would  want anymore. I will quote Russel Peters here and say "BE A MAN!" stay & fight, don't think of flying away! 
2. Human Torch: The ability to turn into a man of fire? Wow! Now that's cool.. er.. hot.. er.. okay, whatever.. but then, there is no point of that coz you have to be careful about what you wear or what you touch, where you live and most importantly how much control you have over it! besides, worrying about getting caught in the rain is not worth it.. and now a days, you also have to worry about fire extinguishers and other man made super coolers.. besides, it ll attract too much attention, the whole point of having a super power is to be discreet about it!
3. Mind Control: Mind control is awesome.. you can make anyone do anything.. but it's too much of a power.. if you could make anyone do anything, it kills the fun of doing it.. I mean, forcing someone to do something is okay as long as its still their will.. but when there is no question of will, there is no sense of accomplishment or for that matter, any real challenge (unless you meet a complete imbecile!)
   
4. Ability to walk through walls & stuff: This is one of fav ones.. think of the possibilities.. all the good things and not so good things that can be done with this power ;) You can enter a bank and stop a robbery by giving out the details of where the hostages are kept.. if you are locked anywhere or tied down, you can just walk out of both... no one can shoot or try and kill you in any way (unless ofcourse they do it discreetly like using a sniper or something and that too only when you are not aware coz all other times, you can just let the things pass through you) so this is by far the best power to have.. except when you walk out a wall and realize you have walked out of the building itself and you were on the 10th floor or something or you walk INTO a mountain or through a ship into the water... okay, I can't really think of any problem with this power... so this is not really off my list :P
5. Teleportation: Correction - this is my fav power.. forget the power to fly.. who needs to fly and get caught when you can teleport and get away with things.. teleport to any of the wonders of the world, the places where not any man can go (including celebrity homes :P).. the possibilities are limitless.. this has all the plus of the ability to walk through stuff but is just way cooler and more options... ofcourse, you can still teleport into solid rock or into outer space by mistake.. but heck, I am willing to take that risk..
6. Invisibility: This is one of my most wanted powers.. invisibility.. the best power for doing good things as well as.. ahem.. you get the point.. you can almost always get away with things.. and even with heat sensors and micro particles and other such things that invisibility cannot overcome, I still liked this power.. until recently... some recent occurrences made me realize that being invisible is more of a curse than a wish.. to be there and do things and not being noticed at all is probably the worst thing that can happen to you... what's more worse than to be overlooked, unnoted, omitted or neglected.. think about it - you are right there and ppl won't know about it.. you would do things and no one would realize you did it... even the most noble and selfless super hero wants some recognition... besides, will you really be able to hear & see stuff that ppl would do in your presence thinking you are not there? probably you should get temporary invisibility just to know what ppl talk/ think about you so that you know who are the ppl who really care and those who just seem to care..

So, no power is actually worth having or has any advantage in the long run.. atleast, not on its own.. But having the ability to teleport wherever you want to, when being invisible - now that is something my mind would just love to be able to do ;) 


And a super power that some of my friends have:

A N D

Fever :)

I have always been proud about my higher resistance and strong will power.. So it is kind of surprise that I am infected... thanks to all the ppl around me.. a major blame on my roomie P... so now I am starting to get the fever.. but I am sure I won't get terminally ill... all these years of building resistance has to come to use somewhere...

Okay... let me explain... I don't mean cold/ cough wala fever... I am talking abt the cricket fever.. ppl knowing me know very well that I am not a sports person (unless u factor computer/ mobile games into the sports category :P).. and even though I am a proud Indian, the cricket bug just skipped me... its probably genetic.. My parents aren't huge fans of cricket.. neither is my brother.. my sil is a sports fan but in general i.e. she watches important cricket, tennis & football matches.. so m not sure which fan she is...

I am still not cricket crazy.. I can afford to skip watching a match without it constantly running in the back of my mind (like now.. the first WC 2011 match of India vs Bangladesh is going on in the hall while here I am writing this..) so my condition hasn't gotten that bad.. yet... but now, I am starting to remember player names (if u know me, u wud know that remembering names is my weakest point), get interested in knowing the schedule and also which teams are supposedly good and which are not... and I have even started playing fantasy cricket...


Okay.. maybe fantasy cricket doesn't count as part of the fever... but hey, I am improving since the last Twenty20 world cup... at that time, I used to select a team which eventually ended up having atleast 2 players who would not be playing the match that day (I know.. you are thinking that can happen to anyone.. but no.. these are players which everyone else seemingly knew would be missing the match.. It went so bad that colleagues started betting guessing which of the non players I would be choosing!)

But it's not just that... There is Sachin.. probably the only person I actually admire in the cricketing world.. and more so because of the kind of person he is rather than for cricket's sake.. And having heard (yet again) that this might be his last world cup (but this time, for real), I really do hope that India wins.. Sachin deserves this... And so does India...


And going by what I have heard (obviously I am not a stringent enough follower to make my own calculated decisions/ comments), the team is perfect to win the match. From what I understand, if the current set of men in blue don't win and since the top few won't be there for the next WC, we wont be winning for some time to come... 

So I think I ll let the fever get the better of me and root for India wid everyone else... here goes everything - Hip Hip Hooray for India! Hip Hip Hooray for Sachin! HopeIndiaWins the WC! or that I win something in fantasy cricket :P

Update: It seems I am out of the fever before it even started completely.. I haven't played fantasy cricket ever since I wrote this post.. But I have watched some of the matches which were simply splendid!

What do you do?

What do I do?

What do you do when You are surrounded by people but are still feeling alone?

What do you do when You don't have any work and yet you don't have any time for yourself?
What do you do when You can't stop talking but still don't manage to say some things?
What do you do when There is laughter on your face but you can't feel the joy?
What do you do when Everything seems right but everything feels wrong?
What do you do when You know what you want to do but are still unable to do it?
What do you do when You can't fall asleep but you can't do anything but lie down?
What do you do when You have nothing but you don't want anything?
What do you do when An excitement dies down before you can enjoy it?
What do you do when There is nothing new but you aren't bothered by it anymore?
What do you do when You keep thinking but can never decide?
What do you do when You walk into the night and can't feel the cold?
What do you do when You get hurt but it no longer pains?
What do you do when You keep breathing but don't feel like you lived?
What do you do when You wake up and wish you hadn't?
What do you do when You feel disconnected from the only ppl you ever connected to?
What do you do when You can feel everything but can't say a thing?
What do you do when You can' take it anymore but you can't run away?

What do you do when all you have are questions and not a single answer?

???

Strangely, that's exactly how things look to me now...

I really couldn't come up with a title.... and all I was trying to do was complete one of my "huge" posts in draft... but something inside me was tugging at the core.. it's as if I am writing mechanically and suddenly something gets my attention.. and my well tuned & habituated brain just hit a speed breaker... and then, I could not understand what I was writing.. or for that matter, why... I know this sounds crazy... I am not a regular blog writer.. I can't be having a writer's block... no.. it has to be something deeper...

The reason I started to blog was because of reading many a blogs and one of them (a blogger who is now a good friend) inspired me enough to actually start it up... to me, blogging was opening up a whole new world.. a world that was, for a change, completely under your control... it's my creation... I am the creator... I am the puppeteer... it's almost like I am God... No, I am not talking about religion or politics or about having any special power over anyone.. I am just talking about the feeling of power you get when you write...

For most, writing blogging is a way to vent yourself out.. for some, its to tell the world what you are too afraid to say in person... for me, its almost like magic... and its because of the tales I can weave with my words... mundane things turned interesting by use of one word over the other... attention to the detail, overlooking the looming obvious... the good, the bad, the ugly.. its all in my hands.. The knowledge that someone out there reading this would, for at least sometime, forget their worries, ignore their problems, overlook their shortcomings, come out of their sorrows and just lose themselves in my world.. a world they know nothing about.. but are not afraid to come in and explore... the feeling of elation that somehow somewhere, you managed to touch someone... that was what brought me here...

And I realize, that's not what I am doing.. heck! forget about doing it right or wrong, I don't think I have been doing it at all... all these posts about how and what happened to me and around me... apart from remaining as memories, are actually a part of me shared with someone... someone that I may not even know... I am under no illusion that someone would come back just to know what's happening with me... no.. if someone was to come back, it would be more to relive what I went through.. a sort of a portal where someone is transformed to where I was... to be able to see and feel things from my place... and why would someone want that, you ask? coz of two things - One: there is always this sense of content, a sense of belonging, that someone else is going through the same things that you would, had you been in their place... two and the simple reason why: we are so obsessed wid our own lives & its intricacies that it actually feels good to see life through someone else's eyes..

So, what does it all mean? If I am so sure of what I want to do and why I am doing it and, in this rare instance, know how to do it, where lies the problem? or considering this is rhetorical question (coz the answer is obviously me), the correct question is probably, what is the problem...

The fire for that power, that I envisaged in me, doesn't seem to be there... I am not getting the interest or the "high" that I expected... does it mean I am not cut out for writing? or does it just mean I haven't found the right things to write about? am I actually capable enough? or am I as disillusioned by my own fantasies as I am about my happiness? Is this a reflection of my state of mind? are my unspoken anger, frustrations, disappointments and  yearnings taking a toll on the thing that I thought I enjoyed? or am I just letting my cursed thinking to go on its wonder ride, letting my mind slip through the rabbit hole into a world filled with concocted reality - false that I want to believe, truths that I want to ignore...

When I start to write something, I am so full of energy.. the words just flow through me.. I don't have to think.. I know what I have to write and how exactly to write it.. and then something suddenly dies inside.. half way through.. like some ghost that had possessed me, suddenly realizing it had other important things to do and just vanishing away, leaving me in the cold... I am tempted to joke that I am missing the "spirit" of writing... but what if I really am...

Looking forward to a new year that's more than just another year...

The new year has just begun (I know its been 20 days but I am still getting used to it!) and already things are starting to look difficult... Notwithstanding my career, finance and personal life - none of which make any sense at this point, someone thought it would be fun to tag me... I have been tagged to give an account of some of my memorable posts that defined the year that was... Even though I am honored beyond words to be remembered by her, I now face a daunting task - Not coz the year was so eventful that I can't decide which ones to choose, but because I posted only 7 posts in the whole of 2010 (the statistics speak volumes about my propensity to blog)

And yes.. 2010 was indeed eventful.. it's just that I never got around to blog much about some of the things... maybe I ll take it up more seriously this year -  a new year resolution of sorts..

Oh well, let me dive straight in... and in case you are wondering "with just 7 posts, what the hell is he thinking of writing here ?!?!?", let me point out that since I am man of many words, all my posts have been quite long... so I am gonna go ahead and mention some of the best moments (and m gonna cheat here by not only including my "other" blog but by also mentioning moments that I have not blogged about... yet... ;) )

Jan 2010

No blog thanks to some shopping for S&R's marriage

Feb 2010

Wanted to post the awesome adventurous trip to North India for S&R's marriage.. Unfortunately, still pending :(

Mar 2010

Very memorable month... And probably the most active... And even though I am tempted to point the tribute to Sachin for his double century as the most memorable of the month (part awe and part fear that ppl around me wud beat me up if I don't!), I will still brave it and go with my very own cricket experience :) And I would also like to make a little mention abt this and a little mention about that...

April 2010

A month of internal turmoil for no specific reason... and thanks to my very sparse posts and lack of choice therein, I ll nominate this

May 2010

No posts... And I am gonna blame the appraisals for this :P

June 2010

No posts...

July 2010

No Posts

August 2010

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Ofcourse :) :) :)

September 2010

The previous month overflowed into this month too and so I am gonna nominate it again :P And a minor mention about this

October 2010

Well, can't say much on this... Not all memorable ones are happy ones... And even thought this was a belated post, I had to do it...

November 2010

No Posts

December 2010

A tribute, coz no one else would do it! And I got N8 :) :) :) :) :) And had an awesome new year Goa trip (which is a pending post...)

Okay, now that was really pathetic... Not only did I realize that I have blogged very little (to the point that makes me wonder what made the "tagger" tag me) but it also brings to mind the very simple fact that I hadn't really done anything worthwhile last year... Here I was, thinking that I have had a busy and eventful year only to realize now that I have very few and widely spaced apart moments to cherish from 2010.. There was no learning, no growth & almost no spectacular things to boast about.. And yet, there are very few regrets... Maybe it's time for a change.. Time to start doing things that have perpetually remained in "draft" mode..

But till I think about the things to do, the changes to face and the lessons to learn, I will pass the baton to some of the blogs I follow (both of whom are as stringent as I am when it comes to blogging):

http://madcaljan21.wordpress.com/

http://mylovelifework.blogspot.com/ 

And the following person whose writing I have started to admire but I don't know her personally (what's the harm in mentioning):

http://www.chutneycase.com/

Mirror, mirror on the wall / Who in the land is fairest of all...

A healthy social life is found only, when in the mirror of each soul the whole community finds its reflection, and when in the whole community the virtue of each one is living.
- Rudolf Steiner

I admit, I didn't know who Rudolf Steiner  was.. And no, I did not come across this quote by chance.. I actually hunted for this.. Why you ask? Because I had to pen down my gratitude to someone for reviving my love for reading newspapers again...

It's been a long time since I stopped my habit of reading the newspaper (in the morning or anytime during the day or even the week)... And it didn't have to do completely with just the fact that I was staying away from home and that we didn't buy papers where ever I stayed... It was more than that.. I was disinterested in knowing the biased opinions of "leading" newspapers.. And it started to seem that all news were "sensational".. frankly, it was sometimes simply hard to digest.. waking up everyday to read about theft, rape, murder, large-scale accusations, natural calamities killing hundreds, corruption in lakhs (and evidently lakhs of crores too - which did make me wonder about the number system and how many zeroes that actually meant and the nagging doubt that if a person could actually swindle lakhs of crores, how come we still have a National debt? I mean, where does all this money come from? Or go, for that matter!). In short, the day had already started with a messed up mind.. And you start looking at the world as the cruel monster.. trying to kill you.. that it might pounce on you any moment... The constant fear that you will end up as the butt of these very things.. or worse, you would be one of them...

But, off late, I have regained my urge to wake up every morning and "know" the news.. No, I am not trying to increase my general knowledge for the IAS or some other exam/ quiz.. I really do "want" to read the news..
And all that changed thanks to Bangalore Mirror (BM)

I know what you are thinking... (especially if you have read BM).. You want to know whether I am actually serious.. or whether reading too much BM has affected my brain thus impairing my judgment.. Yes and No.. Yes I am serious.. And No, this is no ill effect...

Let me explain why... Ever since I started reading BM, I have realized this subtle difference that it has over other newspapers (some "leading" ones included).. this subtle superiority, if I might go so far as to say... And it is because of this... Every morning I wake up to headlines like ‘For God’s sake, I’m not Upendra. this is not his number’, No single malt, no parking, Upendra, Puneeth owe traffic dept Rs 400 & Rs 200, Elderly man reunites with kin, thanks to kindness of strangers etc. etc. etc. It doesn't matter what the headlines is... it always seems trivial...

And I think to myself, is that the worst that has happened? And suddenly, the world seems much safer... you don't worry as much and the day begins on a good note (most of the times humorous).. you are more relaxed and you can take in the rest of the news more calmly... and that's what sets BM apart.. that it manages to deliver the news.. but in a less alarming way... like the watchman in 3 Idiot who keeps shouting "All izz well".. and yes, all does seem well...

And just for that (and since no one else will do it) I hereby present the best newspaper award to Bangalore Mirror (claps and whistles please!!!)

And BM - Thank you for making me read the news again...

For all those who still think BM is useless, you will soon see the light of things... till then, here is a funny quote so that you don't return empty handed from here:

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- Steven Wright