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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Snide and Prejudiced


They say that you only see what you want to see and that beauty is in the eye of the beer holder beholder.. that truth is nothing but what one accepts as true and that seeing is believing.. That good or bad is relative and that we have just created an illusion of norms to make ourselves look safe and sane.. And that's just some of the many nice ways of saying we are all prejudiced.. in one way or the other.. abt one thing or another..

But what really stumps me is when someone crosses the fine line between prejudice and double standards.. that the same person takes the same things done by different ppl differently.. that right & wrong or good & bad does not depend on the person judging it but on the person who did it..

  1. If I tell her what to do, I am bossy and dominating.
    If he tells her what to do, he is caring and wants what's best for her.
  2. If I decide the plan for the evening, I am conceited and self centered.
    If he decides the plan for the evening, he is a leader who knows to make decisions.
  3. If I ask what everyone wants, I am indecisive and don't have my own individuality.
    If he asks what everyone wants, he is sympathetic to others' needs.
  4. If I have a strong opinion, I am opinionated and have a closed mind.
    If he has a strong opinion, he is sure of his thoughts and has the guts to stand for what he believes in.
  5. If I want to know why she's upset, I am intrusive and don't give her space and time.
    If he wants to know why she's upset, he is empathetic and knows that she needs someone even when she say's she doesn't. 
  6. If I am not there when she needs me, I don't understand her plight and I am cold and insensitive.
    If he is not there when she needs him, he must have been busy with something else.
  7. If I have a quirky trait, I am flawed and imperfect.
    If he has a quirky trait, it's what makes him real and human.
  8. If I care too much for her, I am smoldering her and making her dependent on me.
    If he cares too much for her, that's what is endearing about him.
  9. If I tell about my achievement, I am vain and arrogant.
    If he tells about his achievement, he just wants to be recognized and appreciated.
  10. If I stay the whole night working, it's my fault and I shouldn't complain about being sleepy.
    If he stays up the whole night watching movies, the poor guy needs his sleep.
  11. If I have a fever and cold, "I can't be that sick that I can't have some fun with everyone".
    If he has a headache, "Maybe we should all just go home and take rest".
  12. If I tell something that others don't know, I am being a show-off.
    If he tells something that others don't know, "he knows so much" and is sharing knowledge.
  13. If I don't know something, I am ignorant and dumb.
    If he doesn't know something, he is only human.
  14. If I correct someone, I am trying to look superior.
    If he corrects someone, he is making them a better person.
  15. If I claim something, it has to be proven by atleast two different non-related sources before being considered true.
    If he claims something, it is true unless proven false and even then, he should be appreciated for trying.
  16. If I speak differently, I am weird.
    If he speaks differently, he is cute.
  17. If I have a bad habit, "Its wrong and disgusting and I should change".
    If he has a bad habit, "Well, everyone has atleast one flaw in them!".
  18. If I am very helpful, I don't know when to say NO and I bend for everyone.
    If he is very helpful, he is a good person and very giving.
  19. If I am not helpful, I am being rude and uncourteous.
    If he is not helpful, he knows when to say NO.
  20. If I do something without her, I don't think of her and I am shunning her.
    If he does something without her, he has his own world and needs his own space.
  21. If I do something good, it was just my duty.
    If he does something good, he deserves a reward.
  22. If I do something bad, I am a bad person.
    If he does something bad, he didn't really mean to.
  23. If I do something wrong, I should apologize and make up for it.
    If he does something wrong, it's ok, everyone makes mistakes.
  24. If I am feeling bad about something, it's probably my mistake.
    If he is feeling bad about something, it's probably her mistake.
  25. I have many flaws and I should work on them.
    He has many flaws, but that's how he is and that's what makes him, HIM!
Why the difference you ask? Well.. Coz she likes me and she "likes" him :)

Disclaimer: These are just illustrative examples of double standards/ prejudice from the figments of my imagination and should not be thought of as real life examples. Any perceived resemblance is purely coincidental! :D

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Of let downs and betrayals..


“Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection.” ― Lady Gaga


I am not really a fan of Lady Gaga.. or that kind of language.. but something about that quote struck a chord somewhere.. I will admit openly that I have had my trust broken by few of the closest ppl I know.. And it was always from someone I expected it the least.. But it has never pained me more than when that trust was broken by none other than myself.. Because there is no one else to blame there but me..


Imagine one of those times when you are sitting alone wondering what to do.. whether to do some important discovery, find something extremely interesting on the net or just act as if you are working.. And a small discomfort starts to well up somewhere inside you.. You wonder if it could be an ominous sign foretelling something severe.. like more work.. like appraisal discussion.. like coming to know that your company will follow Infy's example and not give any hike.. all this while secretly hoping that you are falling in love.. but soon you realize.. it's just gas in your stomach.. from that late breakfast full of masala..


As you try to recollect how much you enjoyed the breakfast and more so, the company, you can feel your discomfort rise.. And you know there is only one way out.. there is only one solution.. but you are too civilized for that.. not here.. definitely not now.. You give a casual look around and notice that no one is nearby.. and everyone is busy at their workstations.. Your mind tells you that this is the best time.. nobody will ever know.. just let it rip.. it reminds you of what you read on the net..




As you think over the wisdom of those thoughts, you begin the feel the rumble in the bronx.. And you know you have to do it.. And you let it go, hoping it would be smooth and simple.. silent and carefree.. 




But alas, it had to be the worst one ever.. it stinks so bad, even you can't breath properly.. You hope very much that the AC duct above your head will recycle the air fast enough.. you even think of risking the fire alarm and lighting a lighter or a match.. it's so hard to think when there is no oxygen going to the brain.. and while you are gasping for breathe, your manager, lead, team mate and friend, all decide to come to your cubicle with complete urgency.. And before you can come up with an excuse to stop them all in their tracks or get up and run, they have already reached your desk..


And you say out aloud "This work is so shitty, it actually stinks here!"


Image1 Courtesy: http://www.fart-sounds.net/fart_rhymes_from_the_schoolyard.htm
Image2 Courtesy: http://www.coolchaser.com/graphics/tag/fart/1

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

It's your life..

Meri life kisi se alag nahi thi..
Farak sirf itna tha..
Mujhe super blogger banna tha..
Aur sab se bada blogger banna tha..
Computer badla.. blog sites badle..
Nahi badla to wahi sawal - "Have I made it large?"


And as I look back at my posts and go through them, I get the answer to that question and I immediately realize "Damn! I should have taken some other Ad as an inspiration!"

Friday, March 16, 2012

The WTF diaries..


  Life has a lot to offer - sometimes good, soemtimes bad.. life tests you, surprises you, trips you, bewilders you.. sometimes it makes you go weak in the knees, sometimes it lets you show your strength.. And sometimes, it just makes you go WTF!!! Here is a tribute to some such moments - without which, life would probably have been less depressing.. but also less interesting...

Disclaimers:
  1. Even though I like to write loooong posts, to keep my readers alive (all 3 of them), I will stick to only 2 stories..
  2. The event descriptions may have been exaggerated a bit for your amusement (or to disguise my actual embarrassment).
  3. If you take this out in public EVER, I would, in all probability, just feign ignorance and claim all this is just a figment of your imagination! And somebody will get hurt real bad...
Story 1:



I was in my 10th Std and my friends had decided to watch Gone in 60 Seconds. The theatre was just 15 mins from my home and so it was my duty to book in advance (this is a time more than 10 years back when online booking was not yet introduced.. heck, we only had dial up connections and that too 36.6kbps!!!) Anyways, being the loyal friend that I was, I went ahead to book the tickets for myself and 6 of my friends.. And as I was leaving, my brother said he wanted to go too.. (which was quite a rare thing.. he prefers to watch movies alone and even if he "has" to take company, he definitely doesn't want me.. partly coz I am never quiet during the movie.. but more so coz I was too young and used to bug him to tell me what was going on.. in my defense, I would like to point that I was in 10th and though I loved watching English movies, it wasn't really my forte.. then..) Anyways, there I was, 20 mins before the show time, tickets already booked the previous day for 8 ppl - 4 of my class mates, 2 building friends who were 2 yrs younger to me and my brother only to learn that one of my friend S was running late. It was almost show time and he still hadn't come.. As always, I volunteered to wait and my friends stayed back too. I sent in my bro since he didn't want to miss any part of the movie..

Finally, with 3 minutes for the movie to start, S came running in.. we all moved towards to entrance only to be stopped by a moustached guy.. he took one look at me and my friends and immediately asked "Which standard are you studying?" And being the naive innocent guy that I was (and looking back now, I think I was pretty dumb too), I proudly announced "I am in 10th". The guy pointed at the poster and said "you can't go". My first thought was that I got the tickets to the wrong movie. Until I realized that he was pointing something specific in the poster - A.. with a circle around it. Looking at the confused look on my face, he said sternly "A movie hai. Tum allowed nahi ho" My face was already filling up with redness (part anger, part embarrassment) and while I was still stunned, he looked at my other friends and asked the same question. fortunately for them, 2 of them were tall for their age - around 5' 10" and one of them was already having a stubble.. which left only one slightly plump guy around my height.. the question was directed at him.. he looked down and after a full minute replied in a meek voice that he was studying in 11th.

I was thinking that that was stupidity. If he had the presence of mind to lie, he should at least have lied better.. he could have said 12th! 11th still meant he wasn't 18.. the guy asked him "ID dikhao".. bad lie and no proof.. I knew that did it! but his presence of mind persisted.. he boldly looked up and said "Why would I get my ID card to the theatre? In fact I don't even have my wallet!" As I was smirking inside for his feeble attempt, silently taking consolation in the fact that I would have company, the moustached guy said nothing more and let them in.. YES, you read right! except me and the 2 younger building friends, he let them all go... I know.. WTF, right?

The moustached guy (turns out he was the manager) instructed the security to not let us in and went on.. as I stood there seeing kids half my age going in unnoticed, there I was.. standing like a fool with 3 tickets in hand, not knowing what to do.. I was almost in tears.. The security looked sympathetically and said "Sorry, I can't disobey him" And in an attempt to keep what was left of my dignity I said "Waise bhi tumse bhik maangke nahi jaana hai.. I just wanted to know tickets ka kya karun?" After complaining at the ticket counter for selling me the tickets in the first place and then convincing some ppl that I was not selling my ticket in black, got rid of them and walked gloomily back home to my surprised parents..

Ofcourse, just to get back at the theatre guys, I got the DVD of the movie that weekend and watched it, only to find it didn't even have one scene that could be considered too indecently objectionable (compared to the other English movies/ sitcoms that I had already seen) which angered me even more! Aah well.. bad luck on my part.. and good luck on my friend's part who got away with a silly lie.. But it does explain why I insisted on sporting a moustache ever since and on seeing movies with A ratings ;)




Story 2:
This is just 3-4 yrs back.. I had gone to my hometown for holidays.. My parents had moved in back to our home only when I joined Engg. Till then, our home was rented out and we were roaming all over the place thanks to Dad's job profile.. Now, just 3 houses before ours there is this family which has an Alsatian dog wolf with deep black and brown fur.

A not so ferocious German Shepherd
And he looks way more ferocious than the pic above.. more ferocious looking than I can describe here.. And this dog is so well trained that anyone who comes within 3 feet of the house gate would get such a welcome that half your bodily organs would have come out of your mouth while other things would come out of other parts.. And unfortunately, this house is half way on the road of houses and so everyone gets a dose of it now and then.. well, I had gotten over the barking once I realized that the dog doesn't try to jump out of the gate and attack..


Back to story.. So there I was at home.. relaxing and whiling away time.. it was evening.. around 4.30.. and the sun was about to set.. and since it's not often that I come home, my mom decided this was the time to get me to do some chores and asked me to water the plants in our garden.. slowly as I dragged myself and finished up the watering, my mom reminded me that there were some samplings just outside our house compound.. So I obediently stepped out with a small bucket of water, all the while talking to my mom when she started to slowly walk towards the gate and close it.. This action perplexed me since I was just about done and called out to her to tell that there was no need to close the gate.. until I noticed she was looking not at me but at someone else to my left.. When I turned to my left, I saw the same dog standing half a feet away from me looking for something on the ground.. My mom had closed the gate to save herself.. leaving her only second son, out in the open with that monster.. thaaya pullaya irunthum, naaya pullaya nu varum pothu naayu dan mukkiyam nu thonichu**


There I stood, horrified and rooted to place as it approached nearer... feeling betrayed and wondering how many parts I would be torn into.. I even contemplated hitting it with the bucket and making a run for it.. but the gate was closed.. I wouldn't have enough time.. while I was still thinking my escape route, the dog was sniffing at my knee.. I slowly extended my hand in to appease the monster and appeal to the "man's-best-friend" within it.. And quite unexpectedly, it looked up at me and licked my hand.. it took me a couple of seconds to understand it wasn't going to do anything more.. it continued to lick my hand and I started to pat it's head and ruffle it's fur.. it immediately sat on my foot and let me play with it's fur.. Too afraid to move, I kept patting him and called out to the aunty.. She came out and gave those affectionate look
Neighbor (N): "Aaww.. he likes you"..
Me: "Likes me?? Pls just take him away!"
N: "But he is like a kid! he doesn't do a thing"
Me: "ya right! he doesn't do a thing to you coz he is your dog! just take him off me!"


And with a sad look the aunty took the dog away.. while I slowly stepped into my house, closed the gate and gave that "how-could-you" look to my mom.. She defensively said "But that's such a huge dog and you know I scared of dogs! Besides, there had to be someone to take care of you in case it bit you!".



** Equivalent English translation: When it came to choose between the fear of a dog and the mother's love for her son, she chose the dog!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Of mumbling martians and murmuring earthlings...


Ok, I ll admit... the title is just coz it seemed to sound nice.. this post doesn't really talk abt murmuring earthlings.. But it does say something about martians.. The biggest question of whether we are alone in this universe and whether there is indeed life on Mars has finally been answered.. Well, not exactly.. but hey, I did find a Martian.. and a mumbling one at that.. and she is on the loose here on Earth..


Without further ado, let me introduce you to the Mumbling Martian. A blogger who writes the way I would have wanted to {given a chance to restart and start all over and all that.. but you get the point}.. Inherent humor, a good command over the language and the most appealing part - the ability to laugh at one's own shortcomings/ miseries without invoking pity or sounding lame..


Here's to Paru - the new entry in the blogosphere; Hip Hip Hooray! You are gonna create quite a storm soon!


All the best and keep writing! :)

Friday, February 10, 2012

My First Love...


Like an old photograph
Time can make a feeling fade
But the memory of a first love
Never fades away.
-Tim McGraw


As Valentine’s day approaches, I can’t help but think back on my first love.. memories of the first sight, the first touch, the first ride together.. The thick and thin that we have gone through and the way she has always been there for me.. when I ignored her.. when I hurt her.. even when I thought of cheating on her.. But the love is still there.. and that love is what will hold us forever..


It’s been a 6 yr relationship (including the initial 3 yrs that I yearned for her which she was completely oblivious to it), but I can still remember the day I set my eyes on her.. It was love at first sight – something that I used to joke was just a more decent way of saying lust.. but that day changed the definition forever.. I was in 3rd yr BE at that time.. it was like any other day to college.. and I was standing at the bus stop waiting for a vacant enough bus to board and that’s when I saw her.. in all her majestic look.. her glory.. and what a beauty she was - slightly dark in shade but beautiful nonetheless.. my friends could see the way I was gaping open mouthed and they all laughed.. knowing me, they knew I probably wouldn’t do anything abt it.. more than that they were sure that it was just another crush.. that I ll soon forget her.. and at the back of my mind, that’s what I thought too..


But this time it was different.. this time it wasn’t just a crush.. it wasn’t just a longing.. it was an obsession.. I wanted to see her more often.. and seeing her daily at the bus stop just added to the fire that was burning inside me.. I wanted her.. I needed her.. but I knew she was out of my league.. I was still studying.. this wasn’t a time for all that.. I needed to focus on my studies.. coz I knew that having her would only make sense to me if I knew that I deserved her.. a year went away with me trying to ready myself.. to make myself worthy of her.. as I finished my final year, I was placed in Bangalore.. Joining in the new company, meeting new ppl, learning to work.. for some time there, I almost forgot her.. till one day, I got up feeling the hollow within me.. the emptiness without her.. and I knew it was time now.. time to get serious..


It was also the time to get my parent’s approval.. but I was afraid they’d think it was too early.. that they would feel she didn’t suit me.. that they would think I am going to hurt myself in the end.. but I couldn’t sit around doing nothing.. I couldn’t stand not having her with me.. I approached my dad.. told him abt the 3yr longing.. abt why she was the one.. abt why I must have her.. and asked his approval and blessings.. as expected, both my parents were skeptical.. both of them felt I was doing a grave mistake.. my dad didn’t feel the family background was good.. or their history.. and he wanted me to look at other options.. options more suitable to me.. but I wouldn’t have any of that.. I didn’t give a damn how or where she came from.. I knew that they were just looking out for me.. but I couldn’t just get over her and choose someone else.. this wasn’t something that I could let my parents decide hoping that I would fall in love someday with their choice.. and maybe I would.. but I knew my true happiness was with her..


And I knew I couldn’t convince them on my own.. if it’s someone that can convince them , it was K.. I needed my brother’s help.. but it wouldn’t be easy.. he would help me only if he himself was convinced that she was right for me.. And there started the toughest job ever.. of saying why I liked her.. of saying why she was apt.. of saying why it had to be her.. K wasn’t fully convinced. But he could see the conviction and determination in me.. and that’s when he decided to support me.. with K on my side, convincing my parents was easier.. the final tip over happened when K pointed out “If it makes him happy, let him do it. It’s his life; his choices”. With still some doubts in their mind about my choice, my parents gave their approval.. And my brother came along with me to go get her..


When I think back, it feels like yesterday.. I still clearly remember the first time I laid my hands on her.. the beautiful titanium black color… the shape of the headlights.. the position of the handle bars.. the alloy wheels.. she was so beautiful, I could almost cry.. And that’s how I feel every time I get back my Apache from service.. it’s like falling in love all over again.. every single time..


“The future for me is already a thing of the past -

You were my first love and you will be my last” 
― Bob Dylan, Bob Dylan: Love And Theft 

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Things I have learnt..

As the new year rolls out and everyone is talking about fresh starts, new beginnings, re-planned endings and learning from the mistakes of the past year, I couldn't help but look back at the past years altogether.. And I realized that directly or indirectly, life chooses to teach us some lessons, whether we want to or not.

Over the years, seeing different ppl in different situations and sometimes going through some of them myself, I have had the opportunity of observing this chaos called life.. Not that it has readied me enough to handle anything.. but atleast when something sud-suddenly happens, it amuses me rather than bewildering me as it used to.. or hurting me as much.. or maybe I just stopped caring..

So, as I wish HAPPY NEW YEAR to the world, I think it's but appropriate to share the things I have learned along with the wishes.


 that life is full of lessons to learn!

Anyways, here is an (incomplete) list of things laws (in the order that it came to my mind) that I have learnt from experience - first, second & third hand.


  • Whenever you boast/ talk with pride abt some ability/ capacity of your's , the total opposite will happen within the next few days.. and that too, to the knowledge of the same ppl to whom you boasted.. (This has happened every single time that I have boasted abt my resistance to cold or my driving abilities)
  • When you expect the worst, all you get is bad which sort of feels good. (also applicable for movies.)
  • When you are eagerly awaiting some instance to occur, it will happen at the moment you lose your patience which would make you miss the enjoyment of the moment.. or it will happen - but at an unexpectedly low level so that you will surely feel dejected... or it won't happen at all..
  • If you keep talking negatively abt something, sooner or later it does start to go bad.
  • The more you try to hide something from others, the sooner they will get to know.
  • Every person that you trust a lot, will at one point surely break that trust.. atleast once..
  • When you tell someone a secret and ask them to keep it a secret, it will go to atleast two other ppl.
  • When you help a friend in need, they will remember you again when they are in need.
  • No matter how good your intentions or actions are, if the other person wants to look at it wrong, they will find a way to do so.
  • Every person who gives you an advice will frown at you when you give the same to them. (Corollary of the same - No person will readily follow their own advice.)
  • A person will list quite a few number of qualities that they expect from their partner.. and then fall for one who doesn't meet most of them!
  • Just coz a person likes you doesn't mean they will love you.
  • Just coz you love/ care for a person, does not mean they will love/ care for you back.
  • If a person isn't looking for love/ care from you or is looking for more love/ care from someone else, no matter how much you do, it is gonna remain unnoticed.
  • Something that you have always joked abt someone (who has taken it sportingly) will one day offend that same person for no apparent reason.
  • When you most want someone to be there for you, you will be abandoned. Conversely, when you least expect it, you will find someone supporting you.. usually, that someone would also be the last person you'd expect it from..
  • It's always the small things that matter.
  • You can be with a whole group of friends and feel all alone. Conversely, you could be all alone at the top of a hill and still feel connected.
  • If you keep looking optimistically at things, you will soon reach a point where nothing seems that bad.
  • What impression others have of you usually depends on the last good or bad thing that you did that affected them directly or indirectly.
  • When you pray for simple/ small miracles, they will come true making you wish you had asked for something bigger/ better.
  • You can spend a couple of years with someone and still not know them.
  • Ppl will be nice to you as long as there is even a slightest chance that they may need you.
  • When you are trying to prove a peculiar instance to someone, you won't be able to reproduce it in front of them (Slightly twisted Murphy's law).
  • What you have achieved with great difficulty and effort, someone else would have/ will shortly achieve the same thing easily or achieve more with the same effort.
  • When you think you know everything, you will find one person who knows more than you. Conversely, when you think you know nothing at all, you will find one person who knows less than you.
  • When you are happy abt the situation you are in, you will find someone in a better position thereby reducing your happiness. When you are in a sad situation, you will find someone in a worse situation thereby reducing your sadness.
  • No matter how bad things look like, they will surely get better.
  • Ppl will more readily accept what kind of person you are from others than trying to find themselves. Ppl who do try to find for themselves, usually turn out to be good friends.
  • When you have been trying to remember someone's birthday/ anniversary/ imp day for a whole week in advance, you will forget it on that day.
  • If you have been meaning to call/ contact someone for quite sometime, they will contact you before you contact them, thereby making it look like you didn't remember them.
  • Right when you think you have covered all your expenses and you have the right amount of money left, you will find something that requires you to spend that money thereby going into debt.. Additionally, the month you decide to save a lot would also be the month that you spend the most.
  • When you do something for which you are eagerly waiting to be appreciated, most of the ppl around you would not even have noticed that you did it. Inversely, if you do something that you don't want ppl to notice, you will find that more ppl than you are comfortable with, would have  noticed it.
  • When in a group of friends who are teasing you, the person who supports you will soon do something to pull your leg more than the topic for which they supported you.
  • If there is deadline for a piece of work,  you won't remember/ get time to work on it, till the 11th hour.
  • An easy job that you held up till the last minute will take longer than you expected.
  • Whenever you are in an hurry to get some work done, you will come across a large number of improbable distractions that will shorten your time considerably.
  • A work that you did hurriedly and not to your own self's full satisfaction will get accolades from everyone.
  • Everyone except the person you have a crush on, would know about it.
  • The person who never reciprocated your feelings would do so after you have moved on or stopped caring.
  • The girl that you like very much will be either a. married, b. much older than you, c. very highly committed and that too, almost always, to an undeserving guy.
  • Even if you have not heard of Murphy's law, it or one of it's numerous variant will surely affect you at the most critical time.
IN SHORT

BUT ALSO REMEMBER THAT