How not to tell the truth...

Note: This is the first of the 'HOW TO' series that I have thought up for ppl.. Even if it doesn't really help you in anyway, it can just be a good read.. So read on..

Honesty is, honestly, the best policy! But, lets be honest here.. We are a bunch of dishonest ppl.. We'd be lying if we said we were honest.. The only difference is the reason for lying. As long as it is not something that's unfairly disadvantageous to someone or overtly advantageous to one self, you can lie... 

Simply put - Don't lie if it ll hurt someone and Don't lie if it's just to get you something... So, why do we have to think so much abt lying, you ask? Coz even if we are dishonest people (at times), we are ethical and have a clear conscience.. (For those who ask me what a conscience is, pls ignore the post, this is not for you..) So there you have it.. I could never lie abt something that ll keep pricking me later..

Having seen the better part of honesty, I think it's about time to give a few hints & tips.. (tricks of the trade, you might say!)

So here is a list of some things that you can do when you HAVE to lie..

1. KISS - Keep it Simple, Stupid!
   Always keep the lie simple.. This does not mean you should just tell a one line lie and not discuss anything more on that.. What I simply mean is DON'T ever think of a complex scenario for the lying. Take common things from life and use them as an excuse. Since it's something that can happen anytime to anyone, using a day to day 'happening' as an excuse is the easiest way out..
2. Make it bold
   7 out of 10 times, you can get away with a lie if it's bold enough to make them think you couldn't have made it up.. but there is a difference between a bold lie and an outrageous one!
3. Mind your body
   Be extra careful about your body language/ stance/ line of sight etc.. don't fidget or seem uncomfortable.. You should actually look like you are explaining what happened.. And look the person in the eye while talking..
4. Never use the same excuse
   Never use the same excuse, especially with the same person and never within short periods of time.. this not only loses your credibility, but also rusts your thinking capacity to come up with good excuses!
5. Don't try to be spontaneous
   Don't ever try to be spontaneous in your lies!!! Unless, you really are quick witted & you can think on your feet or you are talking to people who are so gullible that they ll buy anything you say.. Which is quite rare.. So always prepare yourself..
6. Add a few minor details
   Always add a few unessential non-consequential details to your lie coz that ll make it look more real... this could be a fleeting-glance kind of stuff or anything else that will in no way directly add to your story..
7. Believe the lie
   If you don't believe your own story, no one else will!! So, always believe your own lies.. believe them to be the truth.. only then can you be confident and unwavering against insurmountable odds..
8. Forget what actually happened, remember your version
   Don't ever try to keep two different versions in your head... remember the version you want the others to know.. this way you don't have to think twice in case you have to repeat the story.. one version, one story.. till the end
9. Don't tell different versions to different ppl
   Whatever you do, don't tell different ppl different versions of the same story! There is no way you will remember what you told whom.. Stick to one story.. everywhere...
10. Use facts/ other truths
    In case you are having to tell a complex lie, always use facts in between... or things that the other person knows for sure is the truth... If you say 4 sure-truths and one lie, chances are, you can get away with it..
11. Don't use unconfirmed alibi's
    Don't ever try to drop names or say you saw/ heard things, as part of your story unless you know for sure that they are completely unverifiable or you are sure beyond doubt that the person/ thing was there! Be vague about the details you give.. try to avoid actually using names of ppl or person unless you are sure they cannot be reached/ verified
12. Do a background check
    Always make sure that the person you lie to has no way of meeting someone who knows the truth.. In case you do think it's possible, either take the other person into confidence or simply don't lie!
13. Make someone collaborate your story
    If you have a trustworthy friend, you can make them collaborate your story... But this has to rehearsed such that you two don't give out two different versions.. The best way for this to work is to never tell the story together and to always remember that one of you should miss some details that the other will tell as part of his/ her recounting... And it works better if the other person tells the story first so that it actually looks like you are just recounting the same thing...
14. Never share the truth
    Never share the truth with anyone unless you are very sure they are trustworthy.. and if you must, never share it with more than 2 persons!
15. Never boast about your lying skills
    If ppl know you are a liar or that you are good at lying, there is a greater chance that all your stories will be scrutinized and its possible no one will believe you even if you told the truth (remember the story about the boy who cried wolf!)
    

Well then.. now that you know some pointers to get you started, here are some common misconceptions about lying:

1. If the story is elaborate, then its a lie
   It is actually possible that someone tells an elaborate story and it's the truth.. Some ppl just tend to be 'descriptive' (like me).. So don't take a story as false just coz it sounds elaborate
2. If you are good at lying, you are good at catching one too
   This is one of the first things you have to understand. You may be very good at lying but might never be able to catch someone else lying.. Coz lying is an individual thing and depends from person to person.. Even if the person uses the same tactics as yours, the credibility of the lie is in the manner of speaking, the body language etc... Besides, anyone can fake body language.. So don't be confident about catching lies
3. If you have an accomplice, you can get away with the lie
   More often than not, the lie is caught coz of the very accomplice that you might trust.. so don't go for an accomplice unless you know the person completely and you have rehearsed on the story..
4. If you got away with a lie with someone, you can get away with them every time
   This is probably the biggest mistake you can make.. Just because someone bought the story from you once shouldn't make you confident that they ll fall for you every time..
5. If your story was bought once, you ll never get caught
   The second biggest mistake is to think that if things are okay after lying, you will never get caught.. If you have lied, it is bound to come out sometime.. You should always be on guard or ready to face the consequence.

I think that just about covers the whole thing with lying. Now, if you are thinking why I would go ahead and let the secret out or wondering why I don't seem to panic that ppl will know when I am lying, it's simply coz I don't use these tactics.. at all.. Actually, I can say I almost never lie :D Now I ll let you try and master the art and come up with my tactic..

And before I sign off, here are 3 golden sacred rules to swear by:

1. Never make an habit of lying
2. Never lie for silly things
3. Never lie if it ll hurt someone

And remember what Abe Lincoln said - "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time"