How to win arguments

Here is the next in the 'HOW TO' series.. This time it's on how to win arguments.. People always find it difficult to argue but arguments are actually very easy to win.. All it requires is the right strategy.. And arguments are actually quite healthy coz it lets you see the different perspectives on a topic.. Besides, argument is infact just a medium to get your point across.. This is one of the reasons why I argue..

And arguably, I am good at arguing.. But most of the times, I am not really arguing - I am just pointing out a different perspective because it makes me feel good that I could think something different.. There is this huge difference between arguments and pointing out various aspects of some situation.. And evidently, it seems when I do the latter, no one is able to distinguish it from the former.. And I end up being the bad guy.. Well, probably I am the bad guy.. Maybe I am not (Anyone wanna argue on that? ;) )

Methods to argue :)

And since most would argue that there is no need to spin any more yarn and I should just get to the point, here I list the general DO's and DONT's for any argument:

1. IT'S NOT A FIGHT
   One of the first and foremost things to remember is this - This is not a fight! If your point of view is wrong, just accept it.. If the other person is not getting your point no matter what, just back down.. And don't get aggressive! And NEVER get physical over an argument!
2. Attack the point of view, not the person
   One of the biggest misconceptions/ mistakes is that when you argue over something, people consider it as an attack on themselves while in fact argument is just on the topic/ point of view/ perspective.. Which is why, in a good argument, neither parties should get personal.. So always remember to attack the topic, not the person. (ofcourse, some arguments are on core personal values/ beliefs in which case it is personal and you should be very careful about how you broach the topic)
3. Never raise your voice
   If you are indeed trying to get your point across, then there is no point in raising your voice.. bigger voice does not mean you are right! Besides, you are not giving orders or subduing someone into being your subordinate or worse, your every-bidding-fulfilling-slave! So, stay calm.. I repeat, don't get aggressive!
4. Never belittle the opponent
   Just coz you are in an argument where you are right (or you seem right) does not mean you are superior to the other person.. You maybe right now and wrong on some other topics.. So never belittle the opponent or rub it in or crush them like spiders!
5. Win or lose gracefully
   Whether you win or lose an argument, its still just an argument.. you might win/ lose now and then lose/ win later... So winning one argument doesn't make you a great person and losing an argument doesn't make you a wimp!

Now that we have gone over the DO's and DONT's, let's get on with the actual strategy of winning an argument :) And the strategy is quite simple to know and remember but hard to implement - If you can't convince them, confuse them! Here are some tips to win any argument:

Okay, don't do that.. But, seriously, try following the following:

1. Always know what you are going to argue about
   Don't ever start an argument for the heck of it (unless you are just trying to piss someone off and you don't really care whether you get your points across or not!!!) Have a clear idea of what point you want to send across and work on that.
2. List down points
   Always list your arguments into points.. if you don't have too many points, break the one's you have into smaller ones. This has the advantage of giving the impression that you know what you are taking about and your point of view must be true if you are able to point so many things and foremost of all, it is excellent to intimidate the opponent who will get overwhelmed by the sheer 'number' of things you have to say.
3. Always use examples while arguing
   Using examples to explain your points has multiple advantages and is one of the key strategies in winning any argument.
   Using examples:
   a) Allows the opponent to exactly understand what you are trying to mean (since nothing explains as easily as examples do)
   b) Brings the argument into your world since its your example and thereby gets the argument under your control (so you can steer him/ her to go in any direction you want them to go)
   c) Distracts the opponent from the REAL thing.. you can keep the opponent confused with so many examples that eventually they will have to give up or forget what they were fighting on!
4. Use the Brahmastra
   Okay, you have tried the other tricks or you still need time to think about how to convince (or confuse) the opponent. What do you do? You can't just stand around staring at them! Simple. Just dare them to give 3 good points to support their point of view. The following are the possible outcomes:
   a) They cannot come up with 3 good points and they might themselves accept defeat (you'd be lucky if this happened to you, but it can happen!)
   b) They are coming up with reasons but they themselves don't seem too sure about it or they are unable to give 3 full good reasons. This again is child's play. Just point out how ridiculous the reasons are or how they cannot even come up with 3 reasons to support their theory and they will accept defeat.
   c) They come up with 3 really good reasons. Well, in that case, you now have had enough time to think on your own plus use their reasons as food for your thought. If you still cannot think of anything, please just accept defeat! You can get them next time.

And there you have it. Simple steps to win any argument. Repeat the mantra again "If you can't convince them, confuse them!"

As always, time to warn you about some things:

1. Never argue incessantly. Stop at a point and either accept defeat or force a draw. No point winning an argument and losing a friend in the process!
2. Never argue for each and everything!
3. Never think no one can beat you in an argument!
4. Never let your guard down while arguing!
5. Never take arguments personally!
   And most importantly
6. Never argue with your girlfriend/ wife!!!!
7. Never try what I taught you, on me!

All the best and enjoy arguing :)