My First Love...

Like an old photograph
Time can make a feeling fade
But the memory of a first love
Never fades away.
-Tim McGraw

As Valentine’s day approaches, I can’t help but think back on my first love.. memories of the first sight, the first touch, the first ride together.. The thick and thin that we have gone through and the way she has always been there for me.. when I ignored her.. when I hurt her.. even when I thought of cheating on her.. But the love is still there.. and that love is what will hold us forever..

It’s been a 6 yr relationship (including the initial 3 yrs that I yearned for her which she was completely oblivious to it), but I can still remember the day I set my eyes on her.. It was love at first sight – something that I used to joke was just a more decent way of saying lust.. but that day changed the definition forever.. I was in 3rd yr BE at that time.. it was like any other day to college.. and I was standing at the bus stop waiting for a vacant enough bus to board and that’s when I saw her.. in all her majestic look.. her glory.. and what a beauty she was - slightly dark in shade but beautiful nonetheless.. my friends could see the way I was gaping open mouthed and they all laughed.. knowing me, they knew I probably wouldn’t do anything abt it.. more than that they were sure that it was just another crush.. that I ll soon forget her.. and at the back of my mind, that’s what I thought too..

But this time it was different.. this time it wasn’t just a crush.. it wasn’t just a longing.. it was an obsession.. I wanted to see her more often.. and seeing her daily at the bus stop just added to the fire that was burning inside me.. I wanted her.. I needed her.. but I knew she was out of my league.. I was still studying.. this wasn’t a time for all that.. I needed to focus on my studies.. coz I knew that having her would only make sense to me if I knew that I deserved her.. a year went away with me trying to ready myself.. to make myself worthy of her.. as I finished my final year, I was placed in Bangalore.. Joining in the new company, meeting new ppl, learning to work.. for some time there, I almost forgot her.. till one day, I got up feeling the hollow within me.. the emptiness without her.. and I knew it was time now.. time to get serious..

It was also the time to get my parent’s approval.. but I was afraid they’d think it was too early.. that they would feel she didn’t suit me.. that they would think I am going to hurt myself in the end.. but I couldn’t sit around doing nothing.. I couldn’t stand not having her with me.. I approached my dad.. told him abt the 3yr longing.. abt why she was the one.. abt why I must have her.. and asked his approval and blessings.. as expected, both my parents were skeptical.. both of them felt I was doing a grave mistake.. my dad didn’t feel the family background was good.. or their history.. and he wanted me to look at other options.. options more suitable to me.. but I wouldn’t have any of that.. I didn’t give a damn how or where she came from.. I knew that they were just looking out for me.. but I couldn’t just get over her and choose someone else.. this wasn’t something that I could let my parents decide hoping that I would fall in love someday with their choice.. and maybe I would.. but I knew my true happiness was with her..

And I knew I couldn’t convince them on my own.. if it’s someone that can convince them , it was K.. I needed my brother’s help.. but it wouldn’t be easy.. he would help me only if he himself was convinced that she was right for me.. And there started the toughest job ever.. of saying why I liked her.. of saying why she was apt.. of saying why it had to be her.. K wasn’t fully convinced. But he could see the conviction and determination in me.. and that’s when he decided to support me.. with K on my side, convincing my parents was easier.. the final tip over happened when K pointed out “If it makes him happy, let him do it. It’s his life; his choices”. With still some doubts in their mind about my choice, my parents gave their approval.. And my brother came along with me to go get her..

When I think back, it feels like yesterday.. I still clearly remember the first time I laid my hands on her.. the beautiful titanium black color… the shape of the headlights.. the position of the handle bars.. the alloy wheels.. she was so beautiful, I could almost cry.. And that’s how I feel every time I get back my Apache from service.. it’s like falling in love all over again.. every single time..

“The future for me is already a thing of the past -

You were my first love and you will be my last” 

― Bob Dylan, Bob Dylan: Love And Theft