Warning: This post is to be taken a with huge amounts of salt! If your mind is not open, don't even bother reading any further!!!
Gender Equality has been a topic of debate for decades now and we have actually matured over the years to the point where an amount of equality has been achieved, atleast in cities and major towns.. And yet, I see more urban girls "fighting" for equality for themselves.. And I simply can't understand why.. Yes, I know there are guys who are complete assholes.. but girls, what about all the other guys like us in your lives? Why can't you appreciate us for the way we are? Why do we have to face the music for what the others of our kind do?
So, at the cost of being branded a MCP, I feel that it is my duty (as part of the lesser privileged sex of the new era) to give a gentle note to these girls/ ladies/ women:
Apart from the fact that girls are earning equally (and sometimes more) than guys and most of the white collar jobs have girls in any high position that a guy can be in, there is also the following advantages that girls have over boys which I feel has been taken for granted:
You are wrongly showing your anger/ discontent on men whereas your real problem is social stigma and the society at large. Which is not controlled by men alone! Saying that you want to break free from the shackles of the society is different from saying that you want to be liberated from male domination. I don't have a problem with your cause/ goal. It's the terminology. We have to change the society's thinking on female foeticide, sati, prostitution and the sorts. But it's a disease of the society which we guys also want to abolish.
So where is it that you modern girls find the the inequality in? I agree that you have fought your way to where you are, but I think it's about time you stopped brandishing your weapons on us guys who are no where like the ones you started to fight with. In fact, it's us guys who should be fighting for some equality now! Guys! Let's unite and fight for our rights! Equality is our birth right too! Right?
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| Fight for Gender Equality |
So, at the cost of being branded a MCP, I feel that it is my duty (as part of the lesser privileged sex of the new era) to give a gentle note to these girls/ ladies/ women:
- I know that generations of male ancestors have been controlling and oppressing female ancestors.. but that's something they did.. you should not take revenge on us for the mistakes that our ancestors did, especially since the new age male is both understanding and accommodating!
- It is about time you accepted that you do have equality and that what you are actually looking for seems more like complete domination!
- It is also about time that you started treating guys with some equality by giving us certain privileges that you so nicely enjoy..
Apart from the fact that girls are earning equally (and sometimes more) than guys and most of the white collar jobs have girls in any high position that a guy can be in, there is also the following advantages that girls have over boys which I feel has been taken for granted:
- No matter how dark you are or how fair we are, you are still the fairer sex!
- Unlike the animal kingdom where the male of the species is more attractive, here it is you females who have the upper hand.
- You naturally have more pain bearing capabilities.
- You are genetically engineered to multi task (yes, you can handle work, home and children better than we can! Although I have started seeing now-a-days some ladies without the gene and some guys with it!)
- You mature sooner than guys do
- You have reservations in train, buses and even in colleges and other institutions.
- If there is ever an accident involving a lady driver and a gent driver (irrespective of the number of wheels or even the presence of them), no matter who is at fault, everyone helps up the lady and scolds the guy for careless driving.. Okay, I know girls are physically weaker, but hey, I have fallen down and scraped myself pretty badly too, someone can help me up!! And this is true to the point that a guy driver with a lady behind gets the upper hand on the situation involving a single guy driver!
- If you wanted to, you could get away with almost anything with a smile and battling of eyelashes
- If you need help - be it a drop home or getting food from outside, you just have to ask politely and there are a bunch of guys ready to do it for you - even if the guy is not a good friend of yours. If I am stuck with some work and ask anyone other than my close friends to get me some parcel, I ll either end up going without dinner or miss my deadline to avoid dying of hunger.
- Girls can hug/ kiss & sleep on one another or comment lewdly about each other and be considered nothing more than soul sisters. A guy does anything more than hug another guy and he is surely gay! (the only exception is when he is very drunk in which case he can give a kiss on the cheek to another guy but still nothing that matches to what girls can do to each other when sober!)
- You can dress up and behave a bit manly and be considered nothing but a tomboy.. I shudder to even think about what comments a guy would get if he tried anything girly!
- As children, you would have played with barbie dolls and with cars.. Boys had only half your choice..
- Have you noticed how ladies magazines and gents magazine both have pictures of women only? No matter how they look? Nobody even wants to notice us (unless we are cleanly shaven all over and have 6-8 packs!) You really expect more attention than that?
- Even with cliches like "Only a woman can understand another woman's pain", women have so many forums to talk about their problems and have a sympathetic ear from both sexes. How many guys can actually open up about their problems without the fear of being ridiculed or ignored?
- When a relationship ends due to external factors (e.g. a love failure coz the parents didn't accept), you girls can somehow convince yourself that it had to happen and be practical about things.. I am not saying you don't get hurt. But the fact remains that you are able to keep it buried inside and move on with life. Do men have this capacity? looking at the number of devdases, heck no!
- Good or bad, smoking & drinking was a privilege for the men. Now women have the same privilege or considering things like ladies night, even more! {personal note: I am against both sexes drinking beyond limit and smoking altogether}
- You have the natural advantage in any industry having visual or aural appeal (news, tele-marketing, ads, posters etc.)
- You have the ultimate prestige of motherhood! No one else can take that kind of glory away from you. It's one of the most beautiful things in life and you are the means to a new life. What more can you ask for?
You are wrongly showing your anger/ discontent on men whereas your real problem is social stigma and the society at large. Which is not controlled by men alone! Saying that you want to break free from the shackles of the society is different from saying that you want to be liberated from male domination. I don't have a problem with your cause/ goal. It's the terminology. We have to change the society's thinking on female foeticide, sati, prostitution and the sorts. But it's a disease of the society which we guys also want to abolish.
So where is it that you modern girls find the the inequality in? I agree that you have fought your way to where you are, but I think it's about time you stopped brandishing your weapons on us guys who are no where like the ones you started to fight with. In fact, it's us guys who should be fighting for some equality now! Guys! Let's unite and fight for our rights! Equality is our birth right too! Right?
I am a woman, and I agree with almost everything you've said. The one thing I am going to disagree with is that tiny thing all women "think" happened to women of the not so distant past. Oppression. Women weren't so much oppressed as being protected. Yes, it's a novel, scary idea, I know, but that doesn't make it any less true.
ReplyDeleteBefore you pass me off as some nut job, think about how women were treated as opposed to say, the Jews before WWII in Germany. How were the Blacks treated in America before the civil war?
Oppressed people are not put on life-boats before so that their oppressor is left to die. Oppressed people were not safely kept at home while the man went to work where it was highly possible he'd get mutilated and/or die. This thing called female oppression NEVER existed on the massively global "keep women as slaves" kind of way a feminist would have you believe.
Feminism = Female Supremacy. Got it? I know you do, good.
So, just so we're both on the same page here male oppression is a very real and very ugly thing. You're going to have one hell of a time trying to convince all the little "entitlement princesses" out there to give it up. Most of the women you know honestly do think it's all about equality, but, if you have women friends and family who can actually think for themselves, ask if it's really about equality for all, than why is it called Feminism with the root being Femme the french word for woman?
There are a lot more things a male has that women actually need to be mentally stable than any women can probably begin to understand. This feminist culture has poisoned women against men.
Why? I don't know. But I am going to throw you a link for you to have a look at. Don't use it to start talking down to women or become a jerk towards women, keep in mind that women are very emotional creatures and while I understand the Men's Rights Movement (MRM) has every freaking right to be angry at a lot of women, you need to remember most women who are infected with Feminism can see the light when given the proper time and ability to process the information--but forget hardcore feminists. They will never see it because they don't want to see it.
The website is called AngryHarry.com He has a lot of insight to a lot of the inequalities men face today. It honestly had me in tears as I read through it, but read it, all of it, as much of it as you can. Be very weary of the women you choose to be with. I really hate saying that, but it's true. Dating is play roulette and you don't know how many of the chambers are full.
Actual rape vrs false rape accusations is a very scary thing. There is some statistic that says only 1% of the entire world's population of men are the kind of man who will actually rape. that leaves 99% of you wouldn't even dream of it.
Anyway, it's a wonderful start at examining a deeper problem.
Best Wishes,
Emma
Hmmm.. Novel idea indeed.. But just as all men can't be branded as MCPs coz some of them are violent and don't respect women, in the same way, we can't brand all women as Feminists. I agree that women should not just take it on the face value that they are being oppressed and should actually think if any such instance really did happen to them or anyone around them. And before they support some woman in 'distress' they should actually validate the claim without giving into emotions. In most cases now-a-days, women are not told they are inferior. They just feel that that's what men around them think of them as and go on to do stupid things that hurt themselves in the end.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to disagree on the oppression part. I am not sure about the West, but here in India, time memorial has been witness to some degree of oppression towards women. It's not something I am proud of, but I am glad it changed. Consider this - You have a husband who loves you and you are happy to take care of your sweet children. But would you still feel the same if your husband didn't give that love or respect to you? If you were treated as a servant or just the caretaker of children who satisfies his physical needs? And what if your husband stopped you from blogging or things like that because he felt insecure and became unnecessarily violent towards you - both verbal and physical? And add alcoholism to that. A pretty dirty picture indeed. Touch wood, that's not the case. But that's the kind of environment that women here have actually come out of. Which is why I pointed out that things have changed from the past and so they no longer have to carry that vengeance.
You see, your claim of protectiveness and if-a-girl-dresses-up-like-a-slut-she-deserves-what-she-is-getting attitude is required in the current conditions. That's the way to survive. But the deeper problem here is also that! You won't worry about a guy roaming around half naked, would you? But if it's girl, then she should be careful. I agree she should. And that's coz there are ppl out there who consider women as purely sexual objects. You would not take it lying down if you found out that some strong biker guy raped a more timid younger guy just coz he was running around in his shorts (okay, I know that sounds unconventional but I am just taking the gay example for the sake of argument). You would not tell the boy that he got what was coming. But you would to a girl. Why? Coz this mentality is stuck within that women's main purpose of existence is sex.
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ReplyDeleteYou are lucky to have an understanding father and a loving husband. But what about women who have abusive men around? What about child molestation? It's mostly the girl child who is molested and almost always by a close relative. The statistics speak for themselves. Even if a girl is "properly" dressed, she might be raped depending on the situation. So a fully clothed woman still won't dare go alone in a dark deserted alley.
And no, I am NOT saying men are evil and women wanting to take revenge on guys is right. In fact, you are right. There are many more instances of inequalities towards men by women including false accusations where the guy doesn't even get a chance to give his side of the story. And most men are sympathetic towards women and their needs. But that doesn't change the fact that the society's attitude towards women has to change.
I am not asking for women's right to dress down and walk around half naked. I am asking for the kind of environment where a woman can walk alone without having to fear anything more than a man would in the same situation. I am asking for the acceptance of a woman wanting to do some work (if she is capable of doing it) without being stopped just coz she is a woman. And that is the real need for equality. And that attitude has to come in both men and women and the society at large.
And that's why I keep repeating that women are fighting the wrong fight. And in the process, they are pushing men off who can actually help (or pissing them off, to be more precise) and hurting themselves in the long run.
But in the end, we both agree that women have to change their mentality of what they want and who they want it from. And thanks for the support and the wishes.