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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Doing the RIGHT thing Vs doing what you WANT to do...


While in an effort to try and explain a lot of things that I do, a lot of decisions that I made and a sort of self-convincing that what I did was for the good, I realized the subtle differences between the things we do and how hard it actually is to do the right thing. So I concluded that it’s about time that I did a bit of a philosophical post.

Gyan Funda: As far as I have seen, whatever we do can be categorized into two things: Things that we WANT to do and Things that are the RIGHT thing to do

I have noticed that many a time, we want to do something and it’s not the right thing to do at that moment. And most of the times, we don’t want to do the right thing because it is not favorable to us. Unfortunately for me (and very fortunately for others around me), I have always wanted and have tried to do the right thing. Of course, I haven’t been completely successful at it, but, so far, the times that I actually indulged in doing the wrong thing that I wanted to do are quite few and very less damaging. And to be frank, I haven’t regretted doing any of the “right” things that I have done even though I may have wondered why I am doing it at the time of actually doing it.


Anyways, let’s get back to the point. I will depict what I want to say, with the following Venn diagram:
 



Things we want to do: These are things that we really desire and are positively favorable to us. 70% of the times, this thing involves a small loss or negative effect to others around us.

The right thing to do: These are the right thing to do in a particular situation. This means that outside the scenario, they may not seem right. And most of the times (approx 58%), this does not have any positive effect on the one doing it.

We want to do and is the right thing: This is the ideal situation wherein you want to do it and it’s also the right thing to do. This kind of “things” are actually rare.

Now why did I go to this extent to describe it? Coz of my belief. I believe that true satisfaction/ happiness/ peace of mind come by doing the right thing, even when it’s not what we want to do. When we do what we want to do, we are content but this is short lived if what we did was not the right thing (unless ofcourse, you are completely conscience-free and you are not like me who feels guilty for the smallest of hurt given to others) Doing the right thing may be hard coz of the situation or how it affects you and may not feel grateful in anyway. But in the long run, having done such things are the true key to happiness.

For the very few who are actually reading this and wondering what I am blabbering about, a hypothetical situation would probably help you understand. And to make sure you comprehend correctly, I have thought of a scenario that you can easily relate yourself to - Consider you have two very good friends of which one is a male and another is a female and both of them are interested in each other. Now, as a mutual good friend to both, you realize that the closer to each other they get, the farther they will move away from you (And you can’t really blame them for it coz they won’t be doing it intentionally). At this point, you have a chance to talk either/ both out of it and they would listen to you if they didn't know your true motive. And considering the alternative, you would probably want to do it too. But the question is, is that the right thing to do? Will you really be able to do it and be happy about it for long? If you are like me, you would answer no. And that’s when you realize the difference between doing things that you want and doing the right thing.

A long time back, I had written the following lines that describes this. A lot of ppl didn’t understand then. Hopefully, they would be able to do so now:

Kabhi aata hai zindagi mein aisa bhi ek pal,
Jab tumare ek galati se mil sakti ho kushi,
Ek pal jisme tum ji sakte ho poori zindagi,
Us pal mein ho saken tumara sapna sach,
Aisa pal jo tumare intezaar ka jawab ho,
Tumara barson ke kwaab ho,
Par us galati se is pal ko zindagi bar pachtaoge,
Ye jaanke bhi kya tum us galati ko kar paaoge?

So, always remember to do the right thing even if it hurts you a bit. You never know how much that would help you in the long run. And trust me on this, it will… even if it takes a bit longer to realize…

Monday, December 7, 2009

Two States...



I recently read the book Two states by Chetan Bhagat… As usual, a bit of a prelude before I start telling about the book... I haven’t read any of Chetan Bhagat’s books before… But I knew every title… From everyone around me… which is very surprising… coz ppl around me are definitely not the bookworms that I consider myself to be… and yet all of them had read almost all his books… to put things into perspective, here is an encounter between me and my friend (A):

A: Hey, have you read the latest book by Chetan Bhagat?
Moi: Chetan who?
A: Are! The guy who wrote five point something and one night @ the call center and the three mistakes of my life!!
Moi: Ah.. that guy… so he has released another book?
A: Yes and it is supposed to be very good. So I and two of my team mates have each bought the book.
Moi: Why would three of you in the same team buy the same book? Couldn’t you guys buy 3 different books and thereby read more at the same price?
A: No, I really wanted to buy this book. It’s more like a collection…
Moi: Oh, so you have his other books too?
A: No, this is the first book. Although I have read all his other books
Moi: So you are starting the collection with this book? Are his books that good?
A: Actually, five point something is the only book I liked. One night at the call center was just okay.
Moi: ?!?!?!?


So, as you can see, when A gave me the book, I had an over-hyped author’s under-expected book… But what was unexpected was that it was actually good. Or maybe I have just become a bit rusty with my reading… or maybe it’s the genre that I didn’t have much exposure to... Whatever may be the reason, the book seemed to hold me…


For one, the stereotypical description of tamilian and punjabis were actually hilarious and some of them I had actually experienced myself (directly or indirectly). Probably, the love story involving inter-region marriage evoked some deep hidden fantasy - The prospect of parents not accepting but the duo still not wanting to fight & run away from parents struck right at home (Not that I have anything planned like that now or the near future or that I am in any such situation. But if at any point in future, I do happen to be in a similar situation, I would try to convince my parents too) And the portrayal of the Chennai auto wala’s was actually an understatement :P

So much for the good of the book… So where does this awe wane off? That would be some places in between where the guy is trying to win the hearts of the girl’s parents… some pretty easily guessable scenarios… and the major thing would obviously be the ending… as usual… not that it was the expected… but coz it did not hold a strong reason… Without trying to break the “twist” in the story, I will try to explain what I felt went wrong. This might actually be a spoiler and I refrain you from reading further unless you have already read the book. 


The whole book shows the father and the son not meeting eye and arguing over everything. Then, with no special deed done by the son, or for no strong reason to like the girl, why would the father do what he did? How did the father-son love and affection suddenly bloom and surface? Except for the logical flaw on that part, the book is worth a read.

Rating: Read if you want to pass time








Thursday, December 3, 2009

The girl of my dreams...


Before you jump to conclusions, let me clarify... The title is intentionally misleading... and no... I haven’t found anyone yet... actually, I m not at all looking for anyone... so it's fine... that brings us to what I am writing...

A bit of a prelude before I start... Like all guys, I have had numerous crushes and I still do (Any guy saying he hasn’t had a crush yet is definitely lying and any guy reading this and still denying it is actually thinking “Damn him!!! Y did he have to tell the truth like this!!!”)...

Sometimes, I feel I have a crush on every good looking girl that passes by... But like all crushes that I have had, none of them last more than a week or so... except one... my last crush is so humongous (I mean the crush, not the person!!!) that I haven’t gotten over it still... and its almost a year now... All those who are starting to think I m a loser for having a crush for such a long time and not doing anything should take some deep breaths, calm down and read what I wrote.. it’s a CRUSH.. Just a crush... Nothing less, nothing more... So what if my heart stops every time she passes by... What if my heart suddenly starts beating faster when she smiles... What if I cant look away from her eyes... What if all I want to do is just sit with her and look at her glowing face... Ahem... Like I said, it's just a crush... And I m quite sure of that...

Besides, there are too many factors that ensure that this will remain a crush (Apart from certain choices of mine, there s also the age and marital status of the crush that s quite bothersome and somehow also includes the fact that a very good friend of mine shares the same intensity of crush for that person...)

Now back to the main story... I had a dream today morning involving the crush (henceforth known simply as C to prevent any kind of discomfort to the crush), the very good friend mentioned earlier (P), another very good friend (A), some unknown friend who I can feel is beside me but cant recognize who it is (X) and at later stages of the dream, a recently made kid sister (N)...

A Note before I start: All descriptions are as far as I can remember from the dream and since it’s a dream it may not make any sense whatsoever...

Here it goes...
Me, P, A and X are coming out of a theater in some mall... we come out and immediately find C standing there looking for someone. We exchange pleasantries and start talking general stuff... that’s when C mentions that she was doing shopping and that it was her & her hubby’s birthday the next day (which for some reason is Jan 30)... I look at P and share a smile... We knew that... we know everything about her (it’s a dream so we are allowed to be over confident about things :P)

All of us start walking together and that’s when we come across a small attraction... like the ones in the amusement parks and exhibitions... this one is a bit different... there is a screen on which some old video is going on... suddenly it’s like a quiz of optical illusions... a picture comes up and I just know what they are asking even though the question is not written anywhere or being read out by anyone... and there are buttons in front that I can press and give the answer with... One picture is slightly darkened and has a group of ppl in it; some sitting and some standing and I know that the question is whether the person sitting in the middle is an old lady or an old guy... I press the answer for old lady and it turns out to be an old guy... and I suddenly realize that I have already taken this before and I had given the same wrong answer earlier too... After that the game seemed very boring and I just answered anything; some right, some wrong...

After that, I, P, A & X came out and found C lying on a sofa outside the exit (a sofa that resembled the one in many office receptions)... Hearing us come, C got up and feeling a bit embarrassed, said that she was very tired and that it had never happened before that she had fallen asleep like this after coming for an outing... for some reason P and I knew that she had already done it once (I mean going out somewhere and then falling asleep)... I gave a knowing glance to P who was smiling again, letting him know, I too remember that she had done it before...

Soon the topic changed to leaving and when I asked where we had to go, P said "Mahabalipuram" (Which is actually a place near Chennai, connected by the East Coast Road, better known as ECR and known for the pleasant long ride)

It's then I realized that we had only two bikes – mine and P’s and there were 6 of us. This is where I noticed the presence of N in the situation. Debating whether to leave a good friend like A and pick up C or leave C with P and take A, I was also wondering how come there is a Mahabalipuram in Bangalore... That's when P suggested that I drop N. That was a bolt from the blue.. coz I had never considered dropping N... Completely shocked, I asked why and P said that she needed to go to KR Puram (which is so close to where I stay that it can be considered that I stay there)... N too pleaded "Yes Vivek, please drop me at KR Puram"...

And that's when the disaster got averted thanks to my roomie S and I woke up with a start... I say disaster coz knowing P and his effect on women and considering my luck (or the complete lack of it), I knew that the dream could have ended with A & C both going with P or any other outcome that I would later on wish I had been in P's place...

Now that you have completely wasted your time reading this, I will tell you the only good thing I can think of... I can finally... truthfully... honestly... say... that C is the girl of my dreams :P :P :P