A thing of beauty is a joy forever...

Disclaimer: I started writing this in the first week of Jan2011 immediately after coming back from the trip.. But then, I went into the writer's block and got distracted.. And then I lost interest in recollecting stuff and penning them down.. But as my friends leave today yet again for another happy new year at Goa, I  can't help but think back on the last time.. Now, my memory of things that happened is more dream-like, but the trip still deserves a post, nevertheless! Like they say, better late than never...

Warning: Humongous post (I know all my posts are, but this is dinosaur sized! even by my own standards!).. to know the story in short, just go thru the pics in S's FB profile 

Note to self: Never keep a post for too long in drafts... especially the long ones.. 

I know the title sounds very cliched but I cant think of anything else to describe the recent trip to Goa... New year @ Goa.. For a non-smoker, non-drinker and eggetarian person having two left foot (that's me.. I know m multi talented :P), New year @ Goa might have been the last idea.. actually, most would wonder if one such person can actually have fun (not just during new year and not just in Goa).. but hey, I did.. I had loads of fun.. mostly thanks to the group I went with.. 10 very dysfunctional friends in Goa... different ppl bugged by different things in life, having different priorities coming together to one place at the right time...

Anjuna Beach, Calangute Beach, Dona Paula, Vagator Beach, Cabo De Rama, Chapora Fort, Fort Aguada, Dance@Paradiso, Breakfast@Brittos, Party@Titos ------ These are all the places we didn't go and things we didn't do...  And yet, we had the best fun ever... So what did we exactly do, you ask? Read on...


As is my usual way, I will start atleast 2 days before the trip started and give a bit of background... This trip was initially planned for atleast 14 ppl out of which 2 had agreed tentatively and true to their tentativeness, dropped off at the end... two more (who I would say were the main reason for us to plan this trip) had to drop off due to personal problems... so with a heavy heart and hopes of spending the last few days of the year at Goa and entering the new year with pomp and fair, the rest of the 10 of us were readying ourselves - Me, A, P, S, R, U (alias P), D, M, K & N... 

Day -2

Our train was on the last tuesday of the year and it was sunday already.. and no shopping done... none of us... so we all decided to meet at Brigade to do some shopping for Goa... And since I had no idea what to get, I just tagged along hoping the others would steer me to the right things... after doing very fast random purchases of shorts and t-shirts amounting to 1.5k for self, I decided that I no longer needed the steering committee.. went along till the others were content that we had no time to do any more shopping and in the process got sun glasses for as cheap as Rs.120.. seemed a good deal and I always wanted shades (no matter how cheap!).. finished dinner, went to S's place to sort the dresses, came back to room and slept off

Day -1
Monday was a holiday for all the people in our Proj, except for me and P who had to finish some pending work before going for the leave.. so came on Monday morning (our morning is usually early to late afternoon but hey, we stay up late and finish our work on time, so its ok :P) [** Bursting with pride at how cleverly I covered by bases**] Anyways, by evening we realized we still a have lot to shop for and went and bought slippers, some more tees and inner wears (u wudn't believe how much those cost now a days!).. after a hasty dinner and packing feverishly, managed to sleep by 3AM...

Day 0
Our train was in the afternoon on Tuesday at around 2 at Yashwantpur. So obviously we didn't get up before 10AM.. hurriedly checked that everything is packed and called for a cab to pick myself, P, A and U.. D, M, S, R, K & N had booked 2 cabs on were already on their way.. we reached on time and boarded the train.. D had fever and yet managed to come.. And It was M's first train journey so he was very excited about things and kept looking at everything with a child-like awe and curiosity.. And the others realized that we were quite humgry.. fortunately for us, D & M had a wonderful chef at home who had prepared poori and aloo sabzi for all of us.. and man, were we hungry, we all dug in and ate like crazy.. and then D felt he needed to take some rest of he had to enjoy the next few days.. Our seats were a bit far apart in the same compartment and since I was good friend (atleast in these things :P), went along to give him company in sleeping.. we slept till around 5 after which I let D sleep and went to the where the others were seated.. a game of UNO had already started.. and I started helping out K, M and U who were new to the game.. we were having quite some fun just whiling away the time.. in between D woke up feeling much better & came to join us.. And then it was time for dinner and we ordered some meals.. some of us felt like drinking tea so we all had some tomato soup (coz we had already tried the tea in the afternoon and it was so bad that I didn't think it was fair to mention it here) well, it started out with just 3 soups and in the end everyone ordered one.. the meals were (surprisingly) better than we expected..  soon, it was time to get down at Hubli and take our next train to Madgaon... we got down and started eagerly awaiting for the train to come.. till then, I took some pics on my N8 while P ran to get the very famous Dharwad Pedas... We kept talking about what we would do in Goa and soon our train came.. we hurriedly boarded the train and found our seats.. Just then some people dressed in coats came and asked for our tickets.. we casually showed them our tickets.. and then one of them asked for some id proof.. from each of us.. and that's when we realized our folly... T who had booked the tickets for us, had canceled it for G & Su.. but evidently, something was wrong.. and we realized one of us had been canceled while G's name was still on the ticket.. and U's pet name was used in the ticket for which he didn't have any proof.. after a bit of arguing on how it's mentioned that if only one had the ID proof, it was enough & things like that and haggling on the number of offenses (if you missed it, these were the squad and not TT) the squad person said that the max he can do officially is to consider 2 offenses instead of the 3 (One ticket less travel and two under different names).. that's when a very pissed off S tried to spoil the haggle by saying that if they were going by the book, they should just book all the 3 offenses... but we managed to save any damage done.. and after cursing the adventurous start of the journey (might I remind that it was M's first train journey, so he was actually having quite a lot of fun with this even though he was one of the persons traveling under the wrong name - ofcourse, can't really mention how he ended up traveling like that :P) everyone felt sleepy and fell asleep.. after all, we had to get up by 5 or so..


Day 1
Reached in the morning at the expected time.. (within the tolerance of railway standards that is) and called up our guy - a Mr. Phani (pronounced funny.. I know, funny name!). We found two sets of wheels waiting for us. loaded up everything and reached a small lodging near the Benalium beach. We had already booked a 4BHK apartment where all of us were planning to dump ourselves.. 20k for 3 days & 2 nights.. seemed a bit steep at first, but having a whole house to ourselves sounded too lucrative.. so we had already contacted this funny guy and made an advance payment.. so when we landed at goa, we needn't worry about lodging at all. What a great plan!, you would say. Might I again remind you that it's us I am talking about and you already know what happened in the train. So, as luck might have it, we found ourselves NOT getting the house. Seemingly the owner would give it to only 4 ppl, not to 10.. So there we were, still groggy from sleep stranded near a beach in goa with no idea for accommodation and no backup plan.. we obviously did the most rational thing and came down on Phani like a ton of bricks.. I know what you are thinking.. if we pissed him off and he just returned our money, where would we go? but hey, let me see you able to reason things at 6AM in the morning after a long train journey when you have come to relax thinking everything is set!! Anyways, we argued a lot and finally accepted the alternative lodging provided that were way below what we had imagined.. no it doesn't mean it was bad.. it actually turned out to be exactly what we needed and it was lighter on the pocket.. we all settled down, got ready one by one and went to Phani's shack which was at the beach. Had a very tasty Goan breakfast and decided to go to Colva beach first which was just 2 kms away. And since we were planning to go to different places, it made more sense to get bikes.. we ended up hiring one old pulsar and some 4 activas for all of us.. with everyone ready to chill out and most of us dressed to kill (one way or the other) we went to Colva.. Spent time till evening.. had lunch there.. and by 4PM decided it was high time to see the sunset at one of the forts.. some 20km away.. so, with our mission set ahead of us, driving like crazy in the traffic filled routes that we weren't sure of, we reached near to the place at around 6PM.. after the sun set.. and the fort was closed.. and it was just 2 of us who reached so soon.. so we waited for the others so that we could return back.. and then God thought, "nah.. this isn't fun enough.. I should do something more.." And so, just to make things interesting, one of the bikes stopped working.. it wouldn't start and we were almost at a top of a hill fort.. arguments and verbal abuses started and we started realizing how indeed diverse we were.. but fortunately (God must have felt he ll torture us another day) we found a mechanic shop and gave the bike to fix.. some 1 hour later,  with some tea and biscuits in the meantime, the bike started working again.. we all were so tired that we just wanted to reach back and sleep.. but we were disappointed too that we had missed the sunset and wasted a few hours doing nothing.. While coming back in this gloomy state, we found that the last boat ride at Panaji was about to leave at 9.. it was just 5 mins for the deadline.. we hurriedly parked our vehicles, got the tickets and boarded the the boat just as it was abt to leave.. And we were so excited in salvaging our late evening that we didn't even mind the fact that this was just a boat and not a cruise one like the "Casino Royale"..

But there was Goan entertainment for time pass.. two dances by the troupe there followed by dance floor opened for children first (which attracted by uber cute kids) followed by only ladies dance which finally ended with couple's dance.. where we forced P and A to go dance on stage.. the ride was over in 20 mins.. but our spirits were rekindled.. we drove back enthusiastically to our Phani shack for dinner... being the hard core non-veg that some of us were, the theme was sea food with the highlight being lobsters.. the shack cook had kept the lobsters uncooked just to show us that they were fresh..

they quickly prepared the dishes and served them hot to all of us.. everyone was having a sip of some alcohol to go with the food.. and mood.. all except P who was not feeling well and didn't eat much either.. we trudged back to the room and dragged ourselves to bed and fell asleep immediately..

Day 2
We were supposed to get up early and go to the Palolem beach, so obviously no one got up on time and we all went for breakfast around 9.. which is where we heard the pretty interesting story that had happened the previous night.. after everyone had gone unconscious for the night, U had suffered a major allergy to something in the lobster.. the result was hugely swollen face and lips.. but he was lodged with D and M both of whom were heavy sleepers.. in the end, he had to come wake S up who took him to a hospital.. S had to get Avil for U which costed rs.2 but had only 100 rupee notes.. in the end, looking at U, the chemist gave the tablets for free and by morning U was finally back to his unusual self :P the only thing better than a french breakfast is a french breakfast with a good story.. having had fun at U's expense and realizing that we were pretty late, we rushed to Palolem beach - the beach that has an island nearby.. Reaching the beach, we found it to be bigger and more crowded than the beaches that we had seen the previous day.. and the water was deeper and warmer.. and D started teaching me how to float in the water (I didn't know swimming even though I had P at home, who is a district level swimmer.. but thanks to that effort by D then, we have managed to somewhat learn to swim by now).. learning to float was unexpectedly easy and very liberating.. we spent a lot of time floating around.. and then U and I went for a walk along the beach to "look" at the "natural" beauty.. by the time we were back, the others had ordered some starters and were busy applying ample amounts of sun screen... while most of us just lay there mimicking the foreigners by looking casual but feeling very worried abt getting tanned, D haggled over for a boat to goto the island.. we decided that try as we may, we couldn't be as casual as the foreigners abt getting some sun on the skin, so we might as well go to the island.. on the way to the island, the boat man was saying that if we had come a bit sooner, we would have seen dolphins in the water.. ever hopeful that we were, we still tried finding some of them in water, but all we got were shadows..

We reached the island in sometime and it was superb.. totally deserted except for 4-5 ppl who had also come on a boat and completely lush.. we spent time roaming around and taking photos (by which I mean we roamed around while S took pics on his DSLR).. soon we were starting to feel hungry and returned back to the beach.. changed dress and had a hearty meal.. the food wasn't that great but we had stopped caring long back.. we were slowly losing ourselves in the aura of goa.. it was 4.30 when we realized we should have left alteast an hour before to catch the sunset at the fort.. so yet again, we missed the sunset and decided to while away some time doing nothing.. then starting to feel a bit tired and not wanting to be late for dinner like the prev night, we left and came back to our rooms.. planned for a camp fire alongside dinner just near the water, on the beach.. music, drinks and food kept flowing till wee hours with all of us starting out with full vigor and slowly becoming lazy and getting closer to the fire & a lot cozier.. when the fire could no longer keep the cold away, we left back to our rooms and had an uneventful night.. for a change..

Day 3 
It was finally D day.. the eve of new year.. we got up lazily & reached the shack as was the recent ritual.. we started walking along the beach while wondering which beach we should go for the new year.. we were still at Benalium and we wanted to go to the most hip and happening beach.. but we hadn't made any bookings and we had heard new years are always pre-booked in goa.. and we still hadn't tried any of the water sports.. so while all the others were brooding over what to do, D & I, being recently bitten by the water bug, went into the water.. the water was feeling just right and the tides seemed gentle.. and just as we turned to call the others in, WHOOSH! we were both underwater.. after swallowing huge amounts of salt water, we both came out of water.. not knowing what hit us and gasping for air.. and that's when we realized that the "gentle" looking small waves were actually pretty forceful.. and that started off an whole hour of competing to stay against the tides and playing with each other.. by the time we were mastering the waves, we realized another thing.. there were water sports right here and it would probably be cheaper than the ones in the coveted beaches.. And boy, are we glad we decided to go for it.. it was just pure water pleasure.. 3 rides - banana boat, double float and single float with the motor boat guy singing "My name is Anthony Gonzalves.." before making a sudden turn with the boat and whisking the floats from under us so that we would fall into the water.. I had never thought that getting pushed into the water, being shoved overboard and trying to drown could be so much fun!! After feeling all bruised up by falling so many times in the water, we had a quick breakfast and went to our rooms to get ready for the new year party.. which we had finally decided would be baga beach.. the traffic was a killer thanks to new year but riding a two wheeler has its advantages and so we reached by 5..


The beach was pretty crowded and we started looking for a shack for the new year party.. finally found one that said we had to make a bill of 15k with an advance of 5k.. with very little time left and no other choice, we took it.. but we had the presence of mind to get a bottle of JD on the way to the beach.. we soon found another shack that agreed to give us starters while we drank our own drinks.. and that's where we saw the sexiest dance by a girl who was just grooving sensuously.. soon a whole bunch of ppl gathered around to watch her dance with grace and style.. until we found out, it wasn't a she.. well, it took us time to recover from our shock but whoever s/he was, that was the best dance ever! That weirdness was the sign from above to drink which everyone religiously followed.. with night approaching and the time nearing the party time, the guys started trying to finish the drinks faster which resulted in D drinking a couple patialas.. the end result was a bunch of ppl high before the party started.. and since everyone was high, we decided its time to shop (ya, we are one rare bunch of ppl).. went out shopping and I was amazed at the bargaining skills of D which seemed to have increased in proportion to his high.. D conjured some weird addition concepts that would astonish even Einstein and managed to convince the shop keeper that adding 240 to an amount will only increase it by 170.. or something like that.. I still don't understand what he did but he added 3 "final" prices that the shop keeper agreed to and came to a much smaller total which the shopkeeper just couldn't argue on, even though it was wrong.. after laughing our heads off and doing small purchases here and there, we entered the designated shack for the new year party..


To preserve the dignity of the ppl involved, I will stop here instead of describing what happened.. Let's just say that M and I enjoyed it more than the others with M and a few strangers being wished happy new year a couple of times by one of us. But the highlight had to be the sign board which said "Credit Cards" accepted.. there is a whole story to it, which I ll maybe tell later :)


Anyways, after a few fruit punches, even I was starting to feel high and after watching the kids fashion show and trying to dance with 2 left  feet, managed to slump down and fall asleep for sometime around 4.. most of the others were already unconscious from the high..


Day 4
We all woke up at around 6.30 in the morning with a huge hang over.. had a train to catch back home.. so we hurriedly tried to settle the bill and leave for our rooms.. and in all that commotion, the guy at the shack forgot the 15k deal and just went with the bill which was way cheaper and considering we had already give 5k, turned out to be the best new year party deal.. feeling happy over profit, we started the long ride back.. and that was the worst riding experience ever! full drowsiness, head ache and an almost "out" U falling over me on an Activa.. reached back by 8 and slept for sometime.. got up, got ready and went for breakfast.. it was already quite late and we had to reach for the train in 40 mins.. I & D told the rest to wait at the shack while we a got vehicle and loaded it with luggage.. we got one car to agree to come to station and went to the room to pack the bags.. we also sent an auto to pick the others from the shack.. unfortunately, all the sleepiness had ended in mis-communication with the whole group waiting at the shack not knowing that an auto was waiting outside.. the end result was that we missed the train which unusually left exactly on time.. and had to take 2 cabs to Londa, which was where our connecting train to Bangalore was booked from.. reached well ahead of time, this time around.. had some chilli pakoda and tea.. played some fruit ninja on apple ipad.. and finally boarded the train.. which was ironically late by an hour or two.. I guess that's fate.. 


Well, the coming back to Bangalore, reaching room and sleeping a lot was comparatively uneventful.. But the time spent in Goa is just unforgettable.. even now.. And what made it special was the total ad hoc-ness of things, the (mis)adventures, the diversity of each beach, the dresses we wore and the photos that S released very slowly over the next few couple of weeks after we returned.. A hearty thanks to the group of ppl who made it memorable.. even to a guy like me :)

Life is a giant jigsaw puzzle...

... and I am missing most of the pieces..

That seemingly innocent, philosophical sounding comment, just manages to sum up my whole life in one sentence..

Off late, I have been "given" the opportunity to be on my own.. to think.. and to analyze.. and what I found, is as disturbing as it is profound - I have not had a life of major hurdles, though it hasn't exactly been smooth sailing either.. that I am not wilting away, but I am not growing either.. that I seem to have everything I need and yet there is this huge hole within.. Yes, I know I have talked about The Void before.. but for once, I seem to understand what is missing. or I think I do.. And for all the people who know me, no.. it's not a relationship that I am talking about.. that can wait.. things are far more grave..

Let me start off with a bit of background and where I believe the problem actually lies.. The problem is.. I don't have any problems.. at least nothing big enough to keep me worried or my mind occupied. I may not have the most love-showering family but they are the best in the world for what they are and what they have made me.. plus they are always there if I need them.. I may not have friends who would be there 100% of times when I need them, but they take good care of me and make me feel needed (which is what matters to me, in the end).. I may not have a very high paying job, but the pay isn't pathetic either.. I may not work on cutting edge technologies but it isn't mundane and boring either.. I may not have girlfriends but I have friends who don't let me feel I am missing an anchor.. I may not be the most loved person, but I am not hated by anyone either (atleast none that I know of).. To come to think of it, I am pretty known wherever I am.. And all of you would say "Congrats, You are officially nuts! Stop whining you lucky B******!!" Maybe I am nuts.. But give me a chance to explain...

If you notice, I seem to be living a life of mediocrity.. No, I don't mean my standard of living.. What I mean is.. I don't have any earth shattering lows.. but I don't have any spectacular highs either.. I have somehow managed to remain just above average.. nothing traumatic.. but nothing remarkable either.. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have been given the opportunity (in the forms of friends) to observe a wide variety of lives.. a lot of things that has happened to a lot of people.. a few good.. mostly bad.. and though I always feel bad that they are having to go through so much, I can't help but notice that I don't have anything like that.. I first noticed this in one of the many drink parties that I attended. When all my friends would drink and share their sob stories, I remember sitting and consoling them.. but deep down, it bugged me that I didn't have a story of my own.. The worst that has ever happened to me include paying for a management seat in 11th std., 2 backlogs in BE, two of my best friends no longer talking to me and at times, feeling like a complete stranger in my own group of friends.. And that's about it.. nothing that bad if you think about it (though the last two was pretty painful personally)..The more I write this, the more I feel I am making less and less sense.. So, let me try this way..

All the people that I know that have problems ranging from small & medium to large and even extra large, have something to fight for.. they know that whatever situation they are in, will improve once their problem is solved.. they have something to look forward to.. something good.. something positive.. the end of all their problems.. and that motivation makes them go through whatever they have.. It's what makes them get up in the morning and go through the day.. The hope that things will some day be better.. What I mean is, they have a purpose - a reason to live! And that is where it bugs me.. that I have reached my pinnacle.. There is nothing to look forward to.. There is nothing I can fix to make things better.. there is no purpose, no direction.. You may argue that all I need is a goal.. something at a level higher than mine.. and some motivation to reach that.. and then life would just be a cycle of setting goals to achieve and improving in the process.. easier said than done.. but then the question is, what should those goals be?

If goals are what I need, why am I bothered about not having problems, you ask? Coz, having a problem makes it easier.. I don't have to worry about what my goal should be, what needs to be done or whether it's the right thing to do.. maybe that's the wrong way to look at things.. And maybe I should be careful of what I ask for. But all my life, I have been doing things as they come my way. I agree that I have been good in what I do (touchwood), but then, there isn't something that I always wanted to do and never been able to do it.. with the exception of playing the guitar, it's not like I wanted to be a doctor and became an engineer.. It's not like I wanted to do MBA and ended up working.. It's not like I wanted to live a posh life and I am living a sub standard ones.. it's not like I wanted to live freely but I am tied down with responsibilities.. It's not like I wanted a girlfriend and never found one.. It's none of that.. I have all I need and I have never wanted something very badly.. In cases that I have, I have either got them or gotten over them easily.. it feels as if I had a bus pass and just took a random bus.. I have no idea where I am going.. there is no specific place that I want to go.. I don't how I am going to reach where ever it is that I am going.. and I don't know why I am in the bus that I am in... but just sitting in that random bus, not knowing anything is.. unnerving.. and feels surreal..

Sometimes, it just feels like a dream and my mind tells me, don't be bothered.. and at other times, I have this sudden urge to just get off the bus.. I don't where I ll get off.. or where I want to go.. or what I ll do next.. but I want to get off.. I don't regret anything that has happened to me.. but I am unsure of all the things that happened.. clueless about the things that are happening.. and completely uncertain of things that needs to happen..

I wish I knew where I wanted to go,
I wish I knew how I should grow,
I wish my life had a little more direction,
I wish I felt somewhere a connection..

If only I could find a reason to get up,
So I don't feel confused when I wake and sit up..
I wish I could find, all the missing pieces,
pieces of this jigsaw.. this jigsaw called life..

Oh well, I think I ll just go to a Swami and ask for the answer!

Er.. On second thoughts, maybe I should just Google it myself ...

past TENSE!

I have been asked this question a couple of hundred times.. And I have always managed to get away with gibberish.. And the million dollar question has been: When I did 9yrs of schooling in Mumbai, then why, oh why, did I join an engineering college in Trichy???

Well, I believe it's about time I told the whole truth.. Not because ppl are still asking but because I want to get it off my heart.. And because, I finally know that letting the cat out of the bag won't hurt me.. or the cat..

So here is the unbelievable-but-true, the too-good-to-be-real-yet-possible, the truth-is-stranger-than-fiction sort of story, of what really happened and why I made the move from way west to way south..

It all started in my 10th std. I used to go to my school in BMTC bus which was usually a 20 min ride from Shindevadi to Ruia College stop, both in Dadar. On the way is the great Dadar circle. One fine busy day, as I was on my way to school in bus, we were stuck at the traffic at the Dadar circle. I reached school a bit late but everything was as usual (This specific reference to that incident will be clearer a bit later). That weekend, I got a call at my land line at home (Only my dad had a mobile at that time and the call rates were so costly then that if I had used a mobile then, as I do now, I would surely be one kidney short by now). The caller claimed to be Aishwarya Rai and said she wanted to meet me. I was immediately sure this was some prank call from one of my friends trying to get back at me for some mischief I would have done in school. I chuckled and said "Ya, right!" and I was about to disconnect the call when she said, "Please Vivek. Meet me once.. just once.. At Taj hotel. Today evening 6PM". Even though it sounded incredulous, something in that voice made me agree. So what if it turned out to be a prank call? I get to go to the Taj, right?

That evening, I lied to my parents about meeting some of my friends and went to Taj at around 6.30 (it was completely the traffic's fault! But then, I wasn't that keen in getting laughed at by a bunch of friends so I ll admit that I did take my own time too). When I reached Taj, I was escorted in by the smiling guard at the entrance.. I was feeling good as I walked in, until the manager came and looked at me as if I was a leper asking for some assistance in scratching my back! I told my name and said I was being expected. The effect was immediate. From disbelief evident by the raised eyebrows to astonishment and finally amusement. He smiled and led me in and gave me directions to one of the tables. From where I was walking in, I could see someone already seated at the table with their back towards me.. And I was instantly sure it was no friend of mine. She was taller than any of my friends and looked.. mature.. I just went ahead to the table and was about to sit down.. and I glanced up to see who it really was.. Bolt out of the blue - it really was ASH! The great Aishwarya Rai herself! The lady touted as the World's most beautiful woman!

I was frozen in mid seating posture. Back arched with my butt a few inches off the seat with my eyes bulging out of the sockets! She smiled and asked me to sit down. I just nodded and did as asked. Because of all the shock, I don't remember her exact words but the crux of the matter was, she saw me sitting in bus in the signal and she immediately felt this huge crush and in her words "I think I am in love!".. disbelief was replaced with panic. This can't be true.. I was half expecting someone to jump up from behind and scream BAKRA!! But a couple of mins passed with none of that happening. Just her.. looking at me expectantly.. I swallowed hard and drank a bit of water with trembling hands.. the water was just too cold.. but it helped get my head a bit straight. I looked up at her again. Smiled and with a dumb look on my face said "Excuse me?" She told me again that she thought she loved me and wanted to give it a shot.

This was getting out of hand now.. I told her that I wasn't sure of what to say.. that I was still doing my 10th.. that she was a good 10yrs elder to me.. that my parents would never agree for a love marriage.. that I couldn't even think of the status gap that we had.. (ofcourse, I didn't mention that I had always liked Sush more than her).. but she would have none of it.. she gave me the usual crap of age doesn't matter as long as two ppl love each other, that we can wait till I finish my studies, that she would convince my parents and that she didn't care about my status as long as I loved her, etc.. But I knew I was in over my head.. I didn't want my life going crazy!! or public! I said "I am sorry, but I can't" and left..

A couple of days later, right when I was starting to get back to normal, she called me again.. She said she thought about what I said, but she could just not forget me.. That her love is true.. and that I should at the least give her a chance to prove her love to me.. Hearing nothing from my end, she added that she would wait till 7pm at the Gate way of India and then jump over if I did not come.. It was weekday and I knew there wouldn't be that many ppl there.. and from her voice, it sounded as if she really meant it. So I did end up going there.. this time, on time.. but I waited some distance away.. wanting to make sure.. but there she was.. heavily dressed up so it would be hard for others to identify.. at 1 min past 7, she climbed on the railing.. and kept looking back.. as if searching for someone.. I couldn't risk it anymore.. I went to her.. she looked at me and I could see she had been crying.. and then she laughed, ran towards me and gave me a tight hug.. we went back to her car.. I set down my terms.. we would never meet in public. She would not call on my landline repeatedly, we would wait till my studies were over and we would marry only if both our parents accepted.. she eagerly nodded yes to all.. she gave me a kiss on the cheeks and dropped me near my home..

And that was the beginning of a roller coaster relationship! I came to know Sallu got pissed that she dumped him for me.. When he "chanced" to meet me, I was half dead with fear.. but he just warned me not to hurt her.. and left.. and that's when I saw that behind all that anger and muscles was indeed a man good at heart.. grossly overlooked and grossly misunderstood.. I have developed that deep respect for Sallu ever since.. even though we never met or talked after that..

Ash was a completely different thing altogether.. she was sweet, breathtakingly beautiful (at that time and at close proximity), intelligent but also possessive and a bit whimsical.. she would call me repeatedly on my landline and ask me to come and meet her near my home and threaten to come to my home if I didn't agree.. to avoid being seen by others, we would just drive around in her car talking a lot about ourselves.. I could sense a void within her.. a want to belong to something.. that in all this media glitz, she had lost who she was.. and I actually started liking her.. my parents started getting suspicious of the numerous calls I was getting.. She got me a mobile that I hid from home and used.. we spent hours on the phone.. of course, she paid the bill..

I couldn't concentrate on my studies.. my grades took a beating.. I blamed it on cable tv and video games.. I had a bit of trouble finding a good junior college but finally managed to get into one of the then lesser known junior colleges.. and then things went from bad to worse.. she started getting way too possessive.. she would somehow know of all the girls I talked to in class or in lab.. and she would question me about it.. in the beginning, it felt good to be "wanted" by someone so badly.. but with time, the relationship became a chore.. with my regular classes, coaching classes for 12th and her shooting schedule, we ended up fighting more often. By the time I was finishing my 12th, my grades were just average, my life was miserable and I felt suffocated.. I had to break free.. but I didn't know how.. I knew it wasn't the right thing to do.. but I really felt that I had no other choice..

That's when my dad unknowingly became my savior.. He took a VRS from the bank he was working in and was contemplating going back south and settle down at our house in Salem. I showed my total support to that decision. But I knew she knew about our house in Salem and that would only make it easier for her to track me. But my luck shone for once.. I hadn't written the CET and so most of the colleges were out of question.. Until I got an offer from a college in Trichy. A free management seat. I jumped at the chance and within a span of 3 days, left Mumbai and came to Trichy.

It was difficult getting used to Trichy. Not that it was bad.. just that it was very different from Mumbai. In every aspect.. I had told only my closet 3-4 friends about my moving.. so it was harder for her to track me.. but I heard from my sources that she searched a lot for me.. for months together.. she even tried contacting my friends anonymously to get any info about me..

Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore and hooked up with Vivek. Probably she wanted to spite me.. probably she thought some Vivek is better than no Vivek.. But obviously, that didn't help her get over me.. the more she was with him, the more she was reminded of me.. And ppl were starting to notice the change in her behavior.. So to get over me completely, she decided that it had to be someone with a high profile.. so that she could convince herself that she had the best.. and everyone knows that the most high profiled family in Bolly ville is the Big B family.. That's how, she finally hooked up with Small B and married him.. And I was the happiest when I heard about her marriage coz I no longer had to carry the guilt for what I had done to her..

And that is what happened.. that is how I ended up doing my schooling in Mumbai and studying BE in Trichy even though my parents were in Salem. That is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.. I know you think this is incredulous.. but other than her affinity towards younger men, here are the collaborating facts which cannot be explained by anything but what I have revealed:

1. Ash dumping Sallu
2. My grades taking a dip since 10th
3. Ash hooking up with the other Vivek
4. Ash dumping the other Vivek
5. Ash going for Small B

Now I heard she is going to have a baby. And I am really glad she moved on and recreated a world for herself where she is happy and content.. I don't regret what I did. I just wish there had been some other way to do it.. She may no longer be a part of my life, but those memories (which had remained a secret till now) will always be a part of me.. The experience with the fast lane was something that taught me a lot... And I ll always cherish them..

Ash: I am sorry I told the truth out now. But I am sure no one will believe it anyways, so you don't have to worry. All the best for your career, life and your kid. Thanks.. And sorry.. for everything...

Small B: You don't know how lucky you are. She is worth every trouble that you might face. Always cherish her and never hurt her in any way. Coz if you do, Sallu won't be the only one after you!


Sallu:  Sooner or later, ppl ll see the gem of a person that you are, behind all that machismo!

Perceptions

Here is a story on perceptions. I ll walk you through the order of events that took place.. But you will have to visualize things as I describe, for the effect..

Imagine it's night time and you have just returned from office.. You have parked your bike in the underground parking of your apartment and are just waiting for the lift to come down. And you are alone there.. And VROOM!!! You suddenly hear a bike sound behind and you turn around to see a large man approaching on a Pulsar 200cc bike and he parks his bike in one of the parking spaces right in your line of sight with his back towards you.

He is wearing a leather jacket (one of those biker jackets that you have seen tough bad guys wear in movies) with torn jeans.. That was all that you could see in that time he came and parked.. He gets off his bike and you immediately correct your initial observation.. this man is not just huge, he is burly - 6'2", wide shoulders and buffed up biceps and arms (even through the jacket) and large hands - the kind that could cover your whole face if it wanted to!

He is yet to remove his helmet, but within that short span, you are already imagining him to be one of those crude violent-prone guys who are just looking for an excuse to beat someone up (You have seen it a million times on tv and movies.. these bullys that just beat up weaker ppl for fun).. You can picture him with a foul smelling cigarette in his mouth, a rough manly tattoo on his biceps and 5 other places and piercings on his eyebrows and other place that you don't even want to think of..

And then he removes his helmet.. he is facing away so you can see the back of his head.. he has a bandana over his head and his ear is pierced with a stud that just shines by the underground parking's overhead lights..

Fearing the worst, you frantically start pressing the lift button, hoping it would open soon and let you escape! Obviously, your luck had to play a role and as expected, the lift is still stuck on 1st floor! As you are contemplating whether to run for the stairs or cry for help, the man turns around and walks towards you..

Exactly as you pictured, he is having a non-shaven rugged look, stern eyes and big nose with flared up nosetrils.. But something about his face catches your attention and sends a shock of disbelief through you..

There is a lolly pop stick, sticking out of his mouth.. as he walks towards the lift, he looks at you, takes out his lolly pop, gives you a warm smile, licks the lolly pop and shoves it back into his mouth.. And that's when you realize.. maybe.. the world isn't so bad after all...

Note: This is based on what actually happened to me a couple of weeks back. That guy did scare the hell out of me till I saw the lolly pop and then I couldn't stop laughing for some hours after that.. especially since we rode the lift together with me trying hard not to look at him or burst out laughing!

Nandi Hills@night - Unraveling the Magic and 'Mist'ery of nature...

Note: I tend to be quite descriptive. If you just want to how Nandi is at night then let me tell you that  there are no words that can describe and no photos that can capture the beauty the magic of Nandi hills at night. But that won't stop me from trying :)


If you have been to Nandi hills to watch the sun rise or the sun set, believe me, you have not seen Nandi hills at all! Actually, you haven't seen anything at all! Move over Coorg and Chikmaglur! We have Nandi hills.. And for all those who think I am crazy, it's quite natural. Coz in most probability, you have not seen Nandi hills in the night/ early morning. And I mean by means of over night stay. And if you have seen it, I know you won't be disagreeing.


First of all, a hearty to thanks to AG - the man behind the arrangement and to the caretaker at the hills for having us. Now to the story of the best place on earth (The use of only superlatives is the Nandi hill effect.. I know there are better places but I this is the best I have been to!)


My team (ex-team by now) had this habit of doing a self sponsored outing at irregular intervals of time. The first was Bear mountain and then Chikamaglur and then Sakleshpur. So this was a tradition that we were quite proud of coz no other team was doing something similar. And even if they did, they could never have fun like we do! And thats thanks to the team mates and more so to our managers! We can be ourselves in front of them in such trips and this has really brought us all together to the point that we can proudly call ourselves as a small set of diverse ppl forming a happy, normal dysfunctional family..


So after the latest trip which happened almost 6 months back, we were eager to get one more trip done.. But we were having trouble choosing a place/ time where everybody could join.. And this kept postponing till other turn of events in the company forced us to rethink, regroup and organize a get-together.. asap.. and that's how a trip to Nandi hills was planned.. no, not a trip.. that would be normal.. an over night stay at Nandi hills was planned.. we were supposed to go Friday night, stay, have fun, eat dinner and have breakfast in the morning and leave..


Ofcourse, at that point, none of us had an inkling of what we were in for (except AG who had been doing it for 15 yrs "straight" as he puts it and GR whose college used to be at the base of the hill). Now here is some background. No one is allowed into Nandi hills after 6.30 PM. There are government guest houses there but not for general public. But AG knew ppl (he always does) and he got us some rooms there..


We were planning to leave office by 5PM on Friday and reach early. But after a number of glitches which almost cancelled the trip, we were finally ready to go as planned, at 6.15PM (as usual).. Four cars - AG, GR, JP & SY, 16 ppl, one destination.. With AG deftly delegating work to others and guiding them, we got all that we needed (Alcohol for everyone, juice & red bull for me, lots of ice, snacks, chicken and baby corn) and reached by around 10 (thanks to the traffic all the way there which we didn't realize coz of the IPL match between MI & RCB). 10PM - a time when you would never be allowed to enter Nandi hills. But we found the caretaker waiting for us with a smile. And then began 6 hrs of pure fun..


To maintain the dignity of ppl involved and to cut the story short, m gonna just condense the main points - Awesome cooking by the ppl at the stay.. The best baby corn manchurian I have had.. And wonderful rasam that everyone just drank and finished resulting in ppl eating just the briyani for dinner.. Lots of drinking and lots more of talking.. 


In between, we came to know that RCB won the match.. With most of them being RCB fans, the mood was setting right.. and then someone gave an idea of posing topless shirtless in the cold wind outside for pictures.. And we stepped out into the balcony.. and stepped right into a thick mist the clouds.. Yes, you read that right - clouds.. it wasn't mist. We were actually in the clouds!! I have always had elders tell me to never walk with my head in the clouds.. And I always used to wonder if that was even possible.. On that night, I knew.. And it was exhilarating! Imagine walking bare chested with the cold wind blowing through, the dew and moisture settling on your body and giving a slight ticklish chill while you are surrounded by thin white clouds.. It's hard to imagine unless you have been there and seen that..


That's one thing about the clouds.. it looks so white and full and fluffy like cotton pieces, from the ground.. But up there, it was just a thin film of white everywhere.. almost like smoke.. until you look up and see the thickness above and realize you are inside a cloud! Ofcourse, it's too dark to actually see the clouds but you sure can feel it! And I can't think of anything that can beat that feeling! We did a small walk at around 3AM amongst the cloud till Tipu point. And THAT is a WALK TO REMEMBER!


The highlight of that night was the game we played where each one of us had to tell our fav song and why it was our fav. And the song would be sung by all who knew the lyrics (which was mostly AG) followed by a detailed analysis by AG, abt the person based on the song he chose.. This was quite fun and went for more than hour.. And the best part was when VCP who was a kannadiga said 2 hindi songs as his fav while SRK who was Telugu, said a Kannada song as his fav which over joyed and pissed JP to the max. It was fun watching JP slurring remarks at all the Kannada ppl there who were telling out hindi songs as their fav..  In all, a complete fun time and we actually got to know something special about each other..

We finally slept at around 4.30AM and got up at 8.30AM and went to Tipu point and have a look. This time we could actually see nothing - Just white everywhere! And then it was getting late to return so  we came back, brushed and had hot pongal and vada served graciously by the staff there..

We left Nandi Hills by around 10.30AM and reached back at 12PM - quite exhausted and a bit hung over.. but each one of us was having the same thought - we had stayed & witnessed a piece of heaven on earth! The memory of which would forever remain with us...

Gender Equality - The other side of the story

Warning: This post is to be taken a with huge amounts of salt! If your mind is not open, don't even bother reading any further!!!

Fight for Gender Equality

Gender Equality has been a topic of debate for decades now and we have actually matured over the years to the point where an amount of equality has been achieved, atleast in cities and major towns.. And yet, I see more urban girls "fighting" for equality for themselves.. And I simply can't understand why.. Yes, I know there are guys who are complete assholes.. but girls, what about all the other guys like us in your lives? Why can't you appreciate us for the way we are? Why do we have to face the music for what the others of our kind do?


So, at the cost of being branded a MCP, I feel that it is my duty (as part of the lesser privileged sex of the new era) to give a gentle note to these girls/ ladies/ women:

• I know that generations of male ancestors have been controlling and oppressing female ancestors.. but that's something they did.. you should not take revenge on us for the mistakes that our ancestors did, especially since the new age male is both understanding and accommodating!
• It is about time you accepted that you do have equality and that what you are actually looking for seems more like complete domination!
•  It is also about time that you started treating guys with some equality by giving us certain privileges that you so nicely enjoy..

Any girl reading this, before you start searching for my address to send over some goons to kill me or beat me up pretty badly, just hear me out. Girls now-a-days have so much more advantage over guys that it feels unfair for the fairer sex to still claim that they are still oppressed! 

Apart from the fact that girls are earning equally (and sometimes more) than guys and most of the white collar jobs have girls in any high position that a guy can be in, there is also the following advantages that girls have over boys which I feel has been taken for granted:

1. No matter how dark you are or how fair we are, you are still the fairer sex!
2. Unlike the animal kingdom where the male of the species is more attractive, here it is you females who have the upper hand.
3. You naturally have more pain bearing capabilities.
4. You are genetically engineered to multi task (yes, you can handle work, home and children better than we can! Although I have started seeing now-a-days some ladies without the gene and some guys with it!)
5. You mature sooner than guys do
6. You have reservations in train, buses and even in colleges and other institutions.
7. If there is ever an accident involving a lady driver and a gent driver (irrespective of the number of wheels or even the presence of them), no matter who is at fault, everyone helps up the lady and scolds the guy for careless driving.. Okay, I know girls are physically weaker, but hey, I have fallen down and scraped myself pretty badly too, someone can help me up!! And this is true to the point that a guy driver with a lady behind gets the upper hand on the situation involving a single guy driver!
8. If you wanted to, you could get away with almost anything with a smile and battling of eyelashes
9. If you need help - be it a drop home or getting food from outside, you just have to ask politely and there are a bunch of guys ready to do it for you - even if the guy is not a good friend of yours. If I am stuck with some work and ask anyone other than my close friends to get me some parcel, I ll either end up going without dinner or miss my deadline to avoid dying of hunger.
10. Girls can hug/ kiss & sleep on one another or comment lewdly about each other and be considered nothing more than soul sisters. A guy does anything more than hug another guy and he is surely gay! (the only exception is when he is very drunk in which case he can give a kiss on the cheek to another guy but still nothing that matches to what girls can do to each other when sober!)
11. You can dress up and behave a bit manly and be considered nothing but a tomboy.. I shudder to even think about what comments a guy would get if he tried anything girly!
12. As children, you would have played with barbie dolls and with cars.. Boys had only half your choice..
13. Have you noticed how ladies magazines and gents magazine both have pictures of women only? No matter how they look? Nobody even wants to notice us (unless we are cleanly shaven all over and have 6-8 packs!) You really expect more attention than that?
14. Even with cliches like "Only a woman can understand another woman's pain", women have so many forums to talk about their problems and have a sympathetic ear from both sexes. How many guys can actually open up about their problems without the fear of being ridiculed or ignored?
15. When a relationship ends due to external factors (e.g. a love failure coz the parents didn't accept), you girls can somehow convince yourself that it had to happen and be practical about things.. I am not saying you don't get hurt. But the fact remains that you are able to keep it buried inside and move on with life. Do men have this capacity? looking at the number of devdases, heck no!
16. Good or bad, smoking & drinking was a privilege for the men. Now women have the same privilege or considering things like ladies night, even more! {personal note: I am against both sexes drinking beyond limit and smoking altogether}
17. You have the natural advantage in any industry having visual or aural appeal (news, tele-marketing, ads, posters etc.)
18. You have the ultimate prestige of motherhood! No one else can take that kind of glory away from you. It's one of the most beautiful things in life and you are the means to a new life. What more can you ask for?

So we are stronger than you physically! So what! That's probably the only thing we have and it's more to care for you and protect you. You feel less than equal coz the average guy is physically stronger than the average lady? The only thing I can think of (and which was also pointed by a friend who is incidentally a girl) is that we can rape you and you can't rape us. But come on, how many guys do actually go around raping women? Is that even a power?? Besides, it's not something that any guy in his right mind would want to do.. And it's illegal..

You are wrongly showing your anger/ discontent on men whereas your real problem is social stigma and the society at large. Which is not controlled by men alone! Saying that you want to break free from the shackles of the society is different from  saying that you want to be liberated from male domination. I don't have a problem with your cause/ goal. It's the terminology. We have to change the society's thinking on female foeticide, sati, prostitution and the sorts. But it's a disease of the society which we guys also want to abolish.


So where is it that you modern girls find the the inequality in? I agree that you have fought your way to where you are, but I think it's about time you stopped brandishing your weapons on us guys who are no where like the ones you started to fight with. In fact, it's us guys who should be fighting for some equality now! Guys! Let's unite and fight for our rights! Equality is our birth right too! Right?

The over privileged ringtone..

Before I start, I ll have to apologize for the cheeky title.. especially since it's a twist on the title of a post that I read from someone's blog.. but it sort of suited what I was gonna write about.. So, a thanks to the author and a sorry to his fans.. And now that I have silenced my conscience, let's just go ahead..

The over privileged ringtone, in this case, is my very own, non personal ringtone.. by that I mean that it's just one ringtone for everyone on my mobile.. one tune that plays anytime anyone calls! So why is it the over privileged ringtone? Coz of all the unnecessary calls I keep getting from the so called tele marketing people.. I have so far got so many calls that I have actually had the chance to understand the different types of persons who call...

And having understood the different categories of such call persons (with obviously no pun intended!), I am thankful that I didn't listen to my friend and activate DND.. Besides, I don't think DND works very well... They can always do this:

So here are the types of persons who might call you. I will illustrate each with an example based on true calls that I have received over the past 2 yrs or so. You can appreciate my patience later for bearing with the callers and my presence of mind (read -> lack of work) for coming up with this research :P

1. The Informed Caller:
   These are the people who actually have some kind of background information on you and try to convince you with actual data and facts. One such call I received was from Vodafone. The actual transcript would be pretty boring to read so I ll just describe the call as shortly as possible (by me, that is).. A Vodafone Executive called me up and asked if she could talk to me for a few mins. I said yes and she started describing this wonderful plan that was just meant for me (I am sure she used that line on everyone.. but hey, we are suckers nevertheless!) She told me about a plan that would cost me Rs. 39 per month and which would make my Vodafone to Vodafone calls to cost only 20p/min.. I eagerly asked whether it was all Vodafone numbers to which she said in a lower voice that it was only for local Vodafone numbers.. And that made me wonder what was the use of the plan.. My current plan charges me 40p/min for local Vodafone numbers and this new plan would just reduce it by 20p while I have to pay Rs.39.. and that too considering I have CUG and most of my friends are on CUG (atleast the ones I need to call regularly).. So I pointed out the same to her.. And she immediately said (and here I try to quote) "But sir, we notice that you call 9********* and it's not CUG".. I was a bit taken aback.. I mean, I know they would have my details but this was the first time I was seeing it being used against me! I politely replied that I get more incoming than outgoing from that number (ofcourse, I didn't recognize the number but then, who cares?).. I thought that would stop her but no.. She said "No sir. We can see that you talked for more than 20 mins with this number last Saturday and it cost you Rs. X and taking this plan would reduce those charges".. Now this was really getting out of hand and I couldn't think of anything to say.. In the end, I just said "Actually, we are fighting so we are no longer talking to each other, so I won't need the plan but thanks anyways for asking!"
2. The too-good-to-be-true caller
   These are the type of callers who try to give you some offer but you are not sure whether you are the intended person or whether this is a crank call or whether someone is just trying to pull a fast one on you. Picture this scenario: I get a call on my office desk phone and the person on the other end says "Hi, I am so-and-so from 'X' consultancy and we are recruiting for Java developers for a MNC. Would you be interested to share your resume?" I had just recently joined office so I was not really planning to move out.. but since I got the call I thought I could give it a try.. and then I remembered that I had never heard of a consultancy person calling on the desk phone to ask for resume! This got me suspicious and so I ended up saying "Actually I am quite happy here but thanks for the offer". To this day, I am not sure whether that was really a call from some consultancy or whether it was our company HR's way of doing background verification!
3. The indifferent caller
   These are the ppl who call you just coz they have to.. porbably the best kind of ppl to get calls from.. "Hello sir, can I take a few mins of your time" "this is about" "a free gold credit card from..." "not interested" "thank you sir" simple, short and quick call!
   
4. The taking-things-personally/ insistent caller
   These are the callers who get offended if you say no and actually take things personally.. They try to defend themselves and try and convince you to accept the offer.. I got a call from a credit card company, one day. "Hello sir, can I talk to you for a few mins?" "what is this about?" "sir, this is about a free gold credit card from X bank" "Sorry, not interested" and I was about to cut the call when I heard a slightly agitated tone from the other end "why not sir? I want to know why!" This was the first time somebody had actually asked for a reason! "I already have two credit cards" "but sir, this card has features 1, 2 and 3!" "I have all the 3 features on both my cards and I am not actually the card using kind of person.. I don't travel and I shop very little" "But sir, this card is free! you can just take and keep it without using!" "why would I buy a card that I won't even use?" "But sir, this card is completely free and you can use it anytime you want and we are giving it to only Y company employee" By now I had run out of excuses and patience "ok, if I take this credit card, how will I pay the bill? Can I pay the bill online?" "No sir, you can pay cash or cheque at the nearest bank or drop a cheque at the the nearest ATM or you can ask one of our executives to come and pick the cheque for a nominal fee!" "That's why I don't want the card. The bank is far, the nearest ATM is atleast 8kms away and I don't see the point of paying for paying my bill!" "I understand sir. Thank you for your time" phew! finally!
5. The sensitive caller
   These are the callers who get hurt if you don't listen to them or if you say no. This call came to one of friends "Hello madam, is this the right time to talk to you?" "what is this about?" "Maam, a free credit card..." but before he could finish, my friend interjected "Not interested" and was abt to cut the call when she heard the almost-in-tears voice from the other end "ye kay hai maam! koi sunte hi nahi ho!  sab log bina sune hi kaath dete ho!" {what's this maam.. no one even listens (to what I am saying) Everyone just cuts the call (without hearing me out)} a little taken aback but not wanting to hurt the person more, my friend asked the person to tell abt the offer which he gladly went on abt for 5 mins at the end of which my friend very politely replied that she really was not interested and that she already had another credit card. The caller thanked her for listening and finally disconnected..
6. The desperate caller - This is my personal favorite!!!
   This is the caller who seemingly has to meet some targets and tries to do everything in his power to sell you something.. or in my case, anything! "Good morning sir, am I talking to Mr. Vivek?" "Yes" "Sir, are you working for X company?" "Yes" "Sir, I am glad to inform you that you have been selected for a free savings account  from Y bank" "Er.. I already have my salary account in Y bank" a slight pause later "hmm. Sir you already have a salary account?" "Yes" "which branch sir?" "M.G. Road branch" "ok sir, what abt a current account sir?" "I already have one which was opened along with my salary account in the same branch!" "ok sir, then how about a free gold credit card from Y bank?" "But I already have a free platinum card from Y bank" "eh.. sir.. what abt a demat account?" "But I don't do trading so I won't need one" that I believe was the final straw coz I could make out that he was really getting desperate "sir, come on, you can take a demat account and it ll be just 100rs. per year.." And even though I pitied the person, I had to politely refuse and disconnect the call..

Now that you know the different types of callers, try and fit the next call you get into these categories.. And while I sometimes feel these ppl should be fried in oil for the kind of pain in the wrong places that they are, I can't help but pity these ppl's job.. Think abt it.. having to call hundreds of ppl most of whom would be rude and still keeping a happy mood.. I wonder how these ppl manage not to commit suicide! Next time you get a call, be a bit empathic and say NO in a polite manner.. after all, there are just doing a job like you and me!

As for me, I have gotten so used to the calls, I have actually come to this stage:

GIDS

When my SIL suddenly called me up on Tuesday evening, I knew something was wrong.. But things were worse than expected.. She wanted me to attend some 2 day developer summit on her behalf.. somewhere near Mathikere (I stay near ITPL which meant it was a good 25+ kms away).. Now, the distance, the short notice and the almost total ignorance on what to expect, factored very heavily in making me want to say no.. And knowing a few seminars/ summits which were more of a brand promotion rather than dissemination of knowledge, I was a bit weary about going. But for some reason I agreed.. Maybe it was an intuition (Maybe, I just needed a break from work!)

And am I glad that I decided to go! Fast forward 12 hrs - I made sure I could leave office for two days and hurriedly took an auto at around 9 to JN Tata Auditorium (the gates were supposed to get closed by 9.20).. After trying to find the shortest route and realizing that the auto wala took the longer route and getting stuck in stand still traffic, finally managed to hurriedly reach a little before 11. I was half expecting to get kicked out but was let in with a tag and a complimentary bag. I found the nearest hall and went in, imagining things to be very much similar to the many training courses that I had attended.


But I was in for a surprise. The session that was going on was by a person by the name Scott Davis on HTML5.. I had heard abt HTML5 and knew that most of the browsers were supporting it. But that's were my knowledge stopped.. The next one hour or so was just pure learning fun.. I don't remember having so much fun getting to know something new.. atleast, none in the recent years..

And the day just changed completely after that.. I came to know that there were a number of sessions going on in parallel and I could attend any of them.. So I attended the session on Designing User Experience for Multi-screen Applications with Flash, HTML5 & CSS3 by Harish Sivaramakrishnan. It was very informative, especially the part on CSS3 and Adobe AIR..

Soon it was lunch time and I started going to the various stalls put up in the vicinity by the sponsors.. There was so much information available within a hand's reach and there were numerous contests and goodies too.. And the lunch was simply excellent (something that I usually find the organizers neglect when the technical organizing is good. Kudos to the Organizers for that).. A tasty meal, a complimentary Red Bull, a quick visit to the stalls and it was back to sessions.. But instead we were greeted by a magician.. An illusionist to be precise.. And he brought the spirits back with his wonderful acts & wisecracks and had the audience in splits with his quips!

Then it was a series of sessions starting with an informative session on jQuery, another light but meaningful session by Scott Davis on Microformats and Sematic web followed by a wonderful session on javaScript by Venkat Subramaniam! By the end of the day, all that learning frenzy left me exhausted but thirsty for more!!

Finally here was a Summit, which had relevant and related topics, wonderful orators, a good management of events, excellent arrangements in terms of audio, video, seating (& eating) and goodies to make us feel good.. Thanks to saltmarch media and the sponsors for this wonderful Developer Summit. I am eager to sleep off now and get up early for the second day of sessions on my favorite language - Java.

To sum up the Summit: GIDS - Genuinely Informative, Doubly Satisfactory!

G I D S

 

How to win arguments

Here is the next in the 'HOW TO' series.. This time it's on how to win arguments.. People always find it difficult to argue but arguments are actually very easy to win.. All it requires is the right strategy.. And arguments are actually quite healthy coz it lets you see the different perspectives on a topic.. Besides, argument is infact just a medium to get your point across.. This is one of the reasons why I argue..

And arguably, I am good at arguing.. But most of the times, I am not really arguing - I am just pointing out a different perspective because it makes me feel good that I could think something different.. There is this huge difference between arguments and pointing out various aspects of some situation.. And evidently, it seems when I do the latter, no one is able to distinguish it from the former.. And I end up being the bad guy.. Well, probably I am the bad guy.. Maybe I am not (Anyone wanna argue on that? ;) )

Methods to argue :)

And since most would argue that there is no need to spin any more yarn and I should just get to the point, here I list the general DO's and DONT's for any argument:

1. IT'S NOT A FIGHT
   One of the first and foremost things to remember is this - This is not a fight! If your point of view is wrong, just accept it.. If the other person is not getting your point no matter what, just back down.. And don't get aggressive! And NEVER get physical over an argument!
2. Attack the point of view, not the person
   One of the biggest misconceptions/ mistakes is that when you argue over something, people consider it as an attack on themselves while in fact argument is just on the topic/ point of view/ perspective.. Which is why, in a good argument, neither parties should get personal.. So always remember to attack the topic, not the person. (ofcourse, some arguments are on core personal values/ beliefs in which case it is personal and you should be very careful about how you broach the topic)
3. Never raise your voice
   If you are indeed trying to get your point across, then there is no point in raising your voice.. bigger voice does not mean you are right! Besides, you are not giving orders or subduing someone into being your subordinate or worse, your every-bidding-fulfilling-slave! So, stay calm.. I repeat, don't get aggressive!
4. Never belittle the opponent
   Just coz you are in an argument where you are right (or you seem right) does not mean you are superior to the other person.. You maybe right now and wrong on some other topics.. So never belittle the opponent or rub it in or crush them like spiders!
5. Win or lose gracefully
   Whether you win or lose an argument, its still just an argument.. you might win/ lose now and then lose/ win later... So winning one argument doesn't make you a great person and losing an argument doesn't make you a wimp!

Now that we have gone over the DO's and DONT's, let's get on with the actual strategy of winning an argument :) And the strategy is quite simple to know and remember but hard to implement - If you can't convince them, confuse them! Here are some tips to win any argument:

Okay, don't do that.. But, seriously, try following the following:

1. Always know what you are going to argue about
   Don't ever start an argument for the heck of it (unless you are just trying to piss someone off and you don't really care whether you get your points across or not!!!) Have a clear idea of what point you want to send across and work on that.
2. List down points
   Always list your arguments into points.. if you don't have too many points, break the one's you have into smaller ones. This has the advantage of giving the impression that you know what you are taking about and your point of view must be true if you are able to point so many things and foremost of all, it is excellent to intimidate the opponent who will get overwhelmed by the sheer 'number' of things you have to say.
3. Always use examples while arguing
   Using examples to explain your points has multiple advantages and is one of the key strategies in winning any argument.
   Using examples:
   a) Allows the opponent to exactly understand what you are trying to mean (since nothing explains as easily as examples do)
   b) Brings the argument into your world since its your example and thereby gets the argument under your control (so you can steer him/ her to go in any direction you want them to go)
   c) Distracts the opponent from the REAL thing.. you can keep the opponent confused with so many examples that eventually they will have to give up or forget what they were fighting on!
4. Use the Brahmastra
   Okay, you have tried the other tricks or you still need time to think about how to convince (or confuse) the opponent. What do you do? You can't just stand around staring at them! Simple. Just dare them to give 3 good points to support their point of view. The following are the possible outcomes:
   a) They cannot come up with 3 good points and they might themselves accept defeat (you'd be lucky if this happened to you, but it can happen!)
   b) They are coming up with reasons but they themselves don't seem too sure about it or they are unable to give 3 full good reasons. This again is child's play. Just point out how ridiculous the reasons are or how they cannot even come up with 3 reasons to support their theory and they will accept defeat.
   c) They come up with 3 really good reasons. Well, in that case, you now have had enough time to think on your own plus use their reasons as food for your thought. If you still cannot think of anything, please just accept defeat! You can get them next time.

And there you have it. Simple steps to win any argument. Repeat the mantra again "If you can't convince them, confuse them!"

As always, time to warn you about some things:

1. Never argue incessantly. Stop at a point and either accept defeat or force a draw. No point winning an argument and losing a friend in the process!
2. Never argue for each and everything!
3. Never think no one can beat you in an argument!
4. Never let your guard down while arguing!
5. Never take arguments personally!
   And most importantly
6. Never argue with your girlfriend/ wife!!!!
7. Never try what I taught you, on me!

All the best and enjoy arguing :)